Miley Cyrus Won’t Twerk At The VMAs Again (And Other Things We Learnt From Her Rolling Stone Cover)
She tells Justin Bieber, "You don't want to become a joke." It's a pot, kettle, black kind of situation.
The Rolling Stone cover story that was published online overnight, ‘Miley Cyrus: Confessions Of Pop’s Wildest Child‘, opens with Miley Cyrus at an L.A. tattoo parlour, getting the words ‘ROLLING’ and ‘$TONE’ engraved on her right and left foot. It is four days after the MTV VMAs, and the writer — Josh Eels — spots another bit of ink on her: THAT HIS PLACE SHALL NEVER BE WITH THOSE COLD AND TIMID SOULS WHO NEITHER KNOW VICTORY NOR DEFEAT, engraved on her left forearm.
“It’s from a Teddy Roosevelt speech,” she says. “It’s about how people judge who wins and who loses, but they’re not the ones in there fighting… It’s about critics.”
Eels hangs out with Cyrus a few times. He spends time at her house, goes sky-diving with her, and they go out clubbing. It feels like they get to know each other, and Miley — who was born Destiny Hope, but changed her name legally in 2008 — opens up about growing up with Billy Ray, getting kicked out of school, and the by-now well-documented Miley Transition.
And she sounds like she’s doing okay.
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Her Mum Is Amazing:
“When she’s being embarrassing, she’ll call me ‘sweet girl. When we were getting ready for the VMAs, I was about to put on my teddy-bear costume and she’s like, ‘Sweet girl, do you need to potty before you put your costume on?’ I’m like, ‘Mom! Kanye is standing right here!'”
She Lives Down The Road From Steve Carell:
“He always gives me the stank-eye because I drive so fast.”
She Calls Kanye West Her ‘Homie’:
“Kanye is the shit. I kind of have a good relationship with him now. It’s good to have someone you can call and be like, ‘Yo, do you think I should wear this?’ ‘Do you think I should go in the studio with this guy?’ ‘Do you think this is cool?’ That’s what homies are supposed to do.”
She Tells Justin Bieber To Settle Down:
“I’ve been doing this shit for a long time, and I already transitioned, and I don’t think he’s quite done it yet … He’s trying really hard. People don’t take him seriously, but he really can play the drums, he really can play guitar, he really can sing. I just don’t want to see him fuck that up, to where people think he’s Vanilla Ice. I tell him that. Like, ‘You don’t want to become a joke. When you go out, don’t start shit. Don’t come in shirtless.’ But the thing is, I think boys are, like, seven years behind. So in his head, he’s really, like, 12.”
She Gets Awesome Texts From Pharrell:
“The VMAs was nothing more than God or the Universe showing you how powerful anything you do is. It’s like uranium – it has the power to take over lives or power entire countries. Now that you’ve seen your power, master it … You’re not a train wreck. You’re the train pulling everyone else along.”
And Cute Ones From Lil’ Kim:
“My little pumpkin, I just had to tell you you’re so fucking smart. I love you and all the press you are getting. Sad I didn’t run into you at the VMAs. Keep killing it, boo.”
She Defends Her VMA Performance…
“We could have even gone further, but we didn’t. I thought that’s what the VMAs were all about! It’s not the Grammys or the Oscars. You’re not supposed to show up in a gown, Vanna White-style” – a little dig at Taylor Swift. “It’s supposed to be fun!”
…And Is Perplexed By How It Went Down Online:
“No one is talking about the man behind the ass. It was a lot of ‘Miley twerks on Robin Thicke,’ but never, ‘Robin Thicke grinds up on Miley.’ They’re only talking about the one that bent over. So obviously there’s a double standard.”
She Wasn’t Being Sexy:
“If I was trying to be sexy, I could have been sexy. I can dance a lot better than I was dancing.”
She Wasn’t Being Racist:
“Look at any 20-year-old white girl right now – that’s what they’re listening to at the club. It’s 2013. The gays are getting married, we’re all collaborating. I would never think about the color of my dancers, like, ‘Ooh, that might be controversial.’ … Times are changing. I think there’s a generation or two left, and then it’s gonna be a whole new world.”
She Knows She Sucks At Twerking:
“People are like, ‘Miley thinks she’s a black girl, but she’s got the flattest ass ever. I’m like, ‘I’m 108 pounds! I know!'”
And She Probably Won’t Do It Again:
“Now people expect me to come out and twerk with my tongue out all the time. I’ll probably never do that shit again.”
And Thinks America’s Morals Are Kind Of Skewed:
“America is just so weird in what they think is right and wrong. Like, I was watching Breaking Bad the other day, and they were cooking meth. I could literally cook meth because of that show. It’s a how-to. And then they bleeped out the word ‘fuck.’ And I’m like, really? They killed a guy, and disintegrated his body in acid, but you’re not allowed to say ‘fuck’? It’s like when they bleeped ‘molly’ at the VMAs. Look what I’m doing up here right now, and you’re going to bleep out ‘molly’? Whatever.”
They Have Uber Cabs In America, Too:
We stay until the club shuts down, and then some. Miley spends the whole night dancing on a banquette and drinking Malibu. Afterward, Cheyne orders a couple of Uber cars, and about a dozen of Miley’s friends pile in and head to their friend Ryan’s house in the Hollywood Hills. The afterparty feels like something out of Miley’s “We Can’t Stop” video: a bunch of hip, pretty young people partying in a house that’s way too nice. Suddenly, Miley gets excited. “This is actually the house!” she says. “The ‘This is our house, this is our roof‘ house – this is the place! And these are the homies!” She can’t stop smiling. “We’re really living that life!”
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