The Victorian Liberals Desperately Want To Get Jesus Back Into Schools

Victorian Liberal leader Matthew Guy has pledged to reinstate religious education in public schools if his party wins the state election in November. And um, thanks, but we’re good actually.

Guy, a man whose name is fittingly a synonym for “generic male human”, made the announcement at a pre-election forum hosted by the Australian Christian Lobby. You may remember them as the same conservative crumb bums who spearheaded the No campaign during the marriage equality debate. So as you can imagine, they were very excited about the idea of getting Jesus back into the classroom.

Under laws introduced by the Andrews government in 2015, religious education in Victorian public schools can only be held during lunch time, or before or after school. But Guy wants to change all that, insisting that “a government I lead will bring back religious instruction in schools because it’s very important”.

He also reiterated his pledge to ditch the Safe Schools program, because gender fluid gay conspiracy something something (not a direct quote, but you get the idea).

Party education spokesman Tim Smith said the Liberals want to reinstate the old system where religious education was held during normal class time and parents could opt-in. “If parents want their children to be taught specific religious instruction, then schools, where practical, should facilitate that choice,” he told Fairfax.

By the way, if you’re worried educators won’t be able to find the space to fit religious education into their curriculum, don’t fret: Guy has already flagged plans to ditch sustainability, Indigenous history and Australia’s relationship with Asia from the lesson plan. Because of course he has.

I know lifelong coalition voters who will vote against this. But I for one look forward to hearing about how Jewish, Muslim, Sikh, Hindu and Buddhist classes will also be accommodated by this policy announced at the…Australian Christian Lobby event. Yup. This is a vote winner. https://t.co/yQCjHe6Qdz

— Charlie Pickering (@charliepick) October 29, 2018

If “parents want their children to be taught specific religious instruction”, then surely they have enough commitment to TEACH IT THEMSELVES, not foist it on a state school system, Matthew Guy, you massive clown. #auspol #springst https://t.co/AdBSRwXEOY

— Van Badham (@vanbadham) October 29, 2018

The Victorian state election is scheduled for Saturday, November 24. Guy is expected to lose.