Crowning Every Winner From The Wholesome ‘MasterChef’ Finale

After twelve long weeks, it’s here at last – finals week. At the end of six very drawn-out episodes, we find out who is our official MasterChef of 2021. Some would say that there can only be one winner, but to that I say, “Nuh-uh”. Everyone’s a winner here, because I am making up awards for them all, right to the end.

Most Underdressed – Justin

On the first Monday of Finals Week-And-A-Bit, the contestants headed down to Martin Benn’s brand-new restaurant, Society, for a service challenge.

We’re told that it’s a huge deal for them to be cooking here, because Martin Benn is VERY fancy, and no-one has cooked anything at Society before – the contestants will be performing the kitchen’s first ever service. It’s a bold move to have amateur cooks set the tone for your restaurant, but then I guess it’s also a bold move to open a new restaurant in 2021 in Coronaville, VIC.

The producers mustn’t have given the contestants the heads up that they were headed to fancy town, because Justin rocked up wearing a cap backwards, like a cool youth pastor who is down with the kids. Justin jokes that he “should have dressed up a little bit”, which is funny ‘cause it’s true, but then proceeds to leave his backwards cap on for the whole day. I will never understand this man and his choices.

Fiddliest Dish – Pete

It’s been very cool to watch Pete evolve from cooking wet salads to cooking hot dry salad stacks. In the Society cook, this takes the form of a celeriac and nori ‘croissant’ – a dish that requires Pete to mandolin 200-odd perfectly thin and round sheets of the unwieldy root veg.

For a while there, it looked like Pete might have to ditch his plan, because chopping up that much celeriac is an impossible nightmare. Somehow, though, he pulled it out of the bag, and created something that looked remarkably like a croissant! Just further evidence that Pete is not a regular human, but rather some sort of forest wizard.

Rawest Nuts – Sabina

At the end of the service challenge, we said goodbye to Beans. She was given macadamias to make a dessert with, and even though it looked gorgeous, not toasting her nuts was enough of a mistake to send her packing.

Sabina’s been a total lil pocket rocket the whole way through this competition, and even though there’s only a few episodes left, her thirsting for the guest chefs will be sorely missed.

Most Likely To Be A Disney Prince – Hugh Alle

Tuesday’s pressure test is set by Hugh Allen, the 26-year-old executive chef of Vue De Monde/live action Flynn Rider.

He brings in a horrific dessert that looks exactly like an arrangement of native florals, and I don’t understand how the contestants didn’t immediately burst into tears and attempt to run away. There’s 89 steps in the recipe online. That’s too many steps! Just make a normal mousse and look at some flowers while you eat it. Jeez!

The 50 Shades Award For Bringing Light Masochism To The Masses – Pete

Somehow Pete got through to the final week of the competition without ever having to temper chocolate or use liquid nitrogen, and this pressure test is a pretty stressful time to try out doing it for the first time! Pete, however, as I have mentioned previously, is a powerful elf from the wilds, and so he’s able to complete these tasks perfectly on his first go.

Mel sees that Pete is crushing it and comes around to provide him with some rallying words, but that’s not what Pete needs and he lets her know it. “You’ve gotta tell me that I’m coming last,” says Pete. Mel then proceeds to tell Pete how badly he’s doing and Pete loves it. It’s a hell of a dynamic.

Most Radioactive Parting Dish – Linda

The bottlebrush pressure test spelled the end for dear Linda, who accidentally grabbed the wrong shade of green colouring and produced a dish that looked like an inanimate carbon rod exploding.

Despite the lurid greenness of it all, Linda otherwise does a pretty good job of a ridiculously hard pressure test. She’s made amazing progress over the competition and it’s real sad to see her go.

The Dr Seuss Award For Rhymingest Challenge – Jewel Dual

On Wednesday, it was time for the contestants to face off to see who would skip the semi-final and shoot themselves straight into the big show, and what better way to do that than with a Jewel Dual. It’s a dual where you have to make a dish that’s based on a jewel.

Justin and Kishwar face off with rubies, and Pete and Elise get all green with emeralds.

Dish Most Resembling A Fancy, Sickly Lad – Justin’s Pan Roast Duck

Justin puts some little dabs of pickled rhubarb on top of his duck to look like scattered rubies, but this kinda just looks like his duck caught a disease? Got a real pox-y duck on this plate here.

The Shrek Award For Layered Veg – Pete

Pete wins the day and gets himself straight through to the grand final and oh boy, you know how he does it – by stacking that veg. In round one, it’s a fresh-looking stack of zucchini, basil, and then zucchini again.

And then in round two, he beats Kishwar with this stack of leek sheets, cleverly hiding the disgusting oysters that lie underneath. From a distance it almost appears to be a lovely arrangement of cheese slices or lasagne sheets. But no – this right here is a damp veg stack.

Best Cinematography – Whoever was behind the camera for the semi-final

On Sunday, it’s semi-final time and it’s a big service challenge. Kishwar, Justin and Elise must each cook a three course meal for a bunch of guests, while all the previously eliminated contestants stand up on the gantry and yell at them.

Whoever was in charge of filming this episode truly understood the gravity of a semi-final, because they shot this thing like a prestige drama. Look at this angle! The composition! The smoke lingering in the air that makes the kitchen look like it’s from a film about our dystopian future! It’s gorgeous.

Sickest Burn – Jock

Jock delivered some of the most brutal feedback we’ve heard the entire season after eating Justin’s taco first course, saying that he “promised the world, delivered an atlas”. Disappointed Dad is back, and he hates your tacos.

Least Likely To Get An Ice-Cream Headache – Jock

Gotta give another award to Jock here for this champion effort of gulping down Kishwar’s After Dinner Mint dish in one mouthful, despite it containing a full scoop of ice-cream. The man must have a skull of steel. I got an ice-cream headache just watching him do this.

The ‘Stop, Stop, They’re Already Dead’ Award For Complete Dominance – Kishwar

Kishwar is a machine and fully steamrolls the competition in the semi-final, putting up the best dish in every single round. This woman is incredible and she needs to open a restaurant in Melbourne or I will cry a lot and generally whinge.

She strikes the perfect balance of making food that is true to her roots, but “refined” and “fancified”. Kishwar has come such a long way from those first couple of weeks where she was doubting herself every cook! It’s so beautiful to see! I’m probably not supposed to play favourites, but it’s the final week and she is my favourite! Give her the $250,000 right now!

Best Comeback – Elise

Sadly, Elise’s menu in the final service challenge takes her out of the competition. She was in the weeds for a lot of the cook, and despite some quick thinking to change around dishes that weren’t working, it wasn’t enough to save her.

However, when the challenge is done, Sunday’s episode isn’t over yet. There’s one last masterclass for the season, and in it, Elise is the champion of the gantry. She lets her hair down, both literally and metaphorically, and is a total delight. Seeing her yell down, “Don’t use the hibachi, it’s the devil reincarnated!” is a highlight of the season, for me. I’ve never seen someone be so aggressively correct on this show before.

Best Point To Pretend The Season Is Over – The Final Masterclass

I don’t know about you, but in the canon of my mind, the masterclass was the final episode of season 13 of MasterChef. Kishwar and Pete still have a strong chance of winning the finale, Jock and Andy are palling around – everyone’s happy. Let’s just pretend it ends here, hey?

There are so many delightful highlights. Jock and Andy face off in a cooking challenge and bet that the loser will have to eat a sliver of a Carolina Reaper – the hottest pepper in the world. The panic in Andy’s eyes/voice/entire body is real.

Then there’s Jock calmly making himself a cup of tea and a bickie during the challenge. It’s massively showing off, and we love to see it.

And finally, we get Jock and Andy MacGyvering a couple of stand mixers and a stick to spit roast a pineapple.

It’s a wonderful end to a lovely season of television. Jokes all round, and three equally deserving winners in Kishwar, Pete and Justin. Happy days.

Best Dressed – Mel

Everyone put in a bloody good effort for the grand final episodes, but there is simply no beating Melissa Leong here. She brings it to you every episode.

Most Likely To Give Me A Heart Attack – Kishwar

Halfway through the Mystery Box challenge, the judges come over to pester Kishwar about what she’s making. She explains her whiting dish, which sounds brilliant and like she’s pushing herself out of her comfort zone and showing the judges what else she can do. But the judges aren’t into it – they want to see Kishwar’s usual style – and so mid-cook, she changes up what she’s making, deciding to wrap her fish in pandan leaf parcels.

It’s a great idea and they look beautiful, but thanks to them being all bundled up, Kishwar can’t check how well the fish inside is cooked and it’s a bit over, costing her some much-needed points. We all learn once again that the judges should mind their own business.

The Inevitable Raw Quail Award For Balancing Out The Scoreboard – Pete

Pete, on the other hand, finds himself in struggle town for round two. His kids pick out balls containing quince and ‘steam’, and for the first part of the cook, Pete has no idea what to do. I mean, steam a quince, I guess?? I dunno!

He eventually lands on a quail dish and it looks great. The judges taste it and it almost seems like Pete might have done what he needed to do to win the whole thing, but then disaster strikes. Mel’s quail is raw. While Jock and Andy give Pete some big scores for a delicious dish, Mel can only give him a six, and the scoreboard starts to look a lot tighter.

Most Dramatic Moment – Pete

It’s a very stressful cook to watch, because the contestants are being asked to do a completely ridiculous thing. Who thought this would be a fun idea for a grand final, honestly?

Partway through the cook, Pete gets so frazzled that he fully stacks it while running to the fridge area.

But that wasn’t the only dramatic moment Pete had in store for us. After an extremely emotional cook in the big kitchen, Pete headed into the judges’ area for the final 15 minutes of cooking and plating up. During the challenge, Pete only managed to make one gold dome for his dessert – one gold dome that he then dropped while he was plating up.

Incredibly, the dome survived the fall, and Pete managed to get his dessert up. But the stress of the day came through in his final dishes, and it just wasn’t quite enough for Pete to take out the win.

Most Likely To Win MasterChef 2021 Because Sportsbet Has Literally Been Saying He Would Since May – Justin

In one sense, it’s very surprising that we come to the end of this season with Justin the youth pastor as our winner. He was doing just enough to stay in the game for the first six weeks or so, until he got told off by Jock, and then despite improving, he never quite reached the consistent culinary heights of Kishwar and Pete. He tried giving himself the nickname “Captain Consistency” during the grand final, but that’s a rookie error – everyone knows you need AT LEAST a week to make a nickname stick!

But in another sense, Justin’s win is not surprising at all, because like a fool, I looked at the odds on Sportsbet back in May, right after the finale was filmed, and he suddenly became the favourite – presumably because a bunch of people put bets on him after the result was leaked to them.

It’s been a weird experience to watch his underdog story be built up over the last few weeks, knowing how this was probably gonna pan out! I kinda feel like watching a contest while knowing that the guy with ties to Hillsong is somehow gonna win it despite not seeming like the best fit for the job is the least underdog thing that could happen! (Cough, huge Scomo vibes, cough)

Yet he pulled it out of the bag and absolutely crushed that final pressure test. And while I will gladly debate anyone for hours and hours about whether a pressure test is the best way to judge who should win the competition, it can’t be denied that Justin did a fantastic job of it and deserved to take out the win here. Congrats to Justin! May your new riches purchase you a fancier hat.

And that’s it for Season 13 of MasterChef! Congrats to all the contestants! I hope everyone gets to open a restaurant/write a book/just enjoys cooking at home again because honestly, having a restaurant and writing a book seems super stressful!

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