Culture

We Really Need To Discuss Why The Hell Mandarins Are So Damn Addictive

What type of drugs are in mandarins that ensures none of us can stop at just one?!

by Michelle Rennex  24 December 2021
Mandarins cutie Oranges Addictive

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I think we can all agree that mandarins are the best fruit in the citrus family.

Sure, oranges are juicy and sweet but, if we’re being honest, they’re just a real bitch to eat.

Think about it: the only way to properly enjoy an orange is by slicing it into wedges and shoving them into your mouth to create an orange smile. The issue? Who the hell is casually carrying around a knife to perfectly segment an orange every time they have a hankering for one? And even if you happen to have a knife, oranges are far too juicy to slice open in a clean manner. I mean, yeah, you could probably just bite the raw orange like an apple to peel it but then everyone would know you’re a serial killer, so would it really be worth it? No.

But do you know what orange-adjacent fruit already comes perfectly segmented with an easy to peel skin that never requires a knife? You guessed it: mandarins, baby.

Mandarins Simply Slap Harder Than They Need To

Mandarins — the delicious fruit often called “cutie oranges” or clementines in the US — are the perfect fruit.

There’s really no effort with mandarins as all the work is done for you: The skin is loose so it peels easily, the fruit is already cut up into bite size pieces, and the segments are usually seedless which means you can pop them straight into your mouth.

But most importantly, mandarins are just so damn addictive that you end up eating like five in one sitting. Every. Single. Time.

For the sake of my grocery bill, I wish I was exaggerating. But it turns out that consuming your body weight in mandarins seems to be a universal experience.

Whatever the fruit is called in a certain country and regardless of when they’re in season, everyone agrees: you can never just stop at one mandarin. Or two. Or three. You need to eat every single one in sight like a creature who has been in hibernation for months.

Sadly for anyone who becomes a ravenous beast around the sweet fruit AKA everyone, too many mandarins can have some bad side effects if eaten in excess.

According to Livestrong, the acidity of mandarins can cause irritation to the throat, mouth, and digestive tracts. Plus, the high acidity and sugar content of these little fruits in the orange family isn’t great news for the enamel on your teeth.

Mandarins also do have that white stringy part that people don’t like to eat. And sure, they do reek a little and end up make your fingers stink when you casually chomp your way through an entire bag.

But honestly, people don’t care. The stink, the acidity and the irritation is all worth it for the sweet, sweet kick of a pile of mandarins — the most addictive substance on Earth.

Really, eating a mandarin is just such a satisfying experience because the fruit almost makes itself too easy to eat.

You can throw them into a lunch box or bag without fear of the fruit inside yellowing or getting bruised. It’s easy to share thanks to the fruit inside being already segmented with its own inner skin. And mandarins are packed with vitamin C, which means we’re all pretty safe from getting scurvy for a good while.

In conclusion, mandarins truly are the perfect fruit and I will continue to eat 17 in one sitting every time.