Whether it’s arguing over household chores, bickering over whose turn it is to buy toilet paper, or something as serious as sleeping with someone else’s partner, housemate disputes are some of the toughest arguments to work through.

These people aren’t your family, but you have to co-exist with them as if they are – and they’re paying just as much as you are for the privilege. We know that fighting with your housemates can be frustrating and ruffle more than a few feathers, but instead of sulking, here are five things you can do to minimise the damage and restore balance.

#1 Give Each Other Space

Just because you share a common area doesn’t mean you’re obliged to spend time together, and after fighting it can be really counterproductive to force yourselves to be in close quarters. The last thing you want after an argument is another argument, so it’s best to retreat back to your respective corners, take a breather and reconvene when you’ve had a chance to think it over.

Trust me, you’re far less likely to say something you don’t mean once you’ve had a chance to calm your farm.

#2 Have A Housemate Meeting

If it’s an issue that’s going to affect the rest of the household, it’s a good idea to air your grievances in an open forum with everyone there. That way everybody can feel heard and respected, and it’s less threatening than having a one-on-one chat.

If you worry it’ll cause too much drama, draw straws to decide who gets to have their say first and invite a mutual friend over to keep the peace. They can help give you an outsider’s opinion, too.

#3 Write Each Other A Letter

Perhaps you’re not great with confrontation. As someone who suffers with anxiety in negative social situations (OK, all social situations), the idea of speaking face to face with someone who’s likely to be angry or annoyed at you can seem incredibly daunting.

If you’ve got a lot on your mind, write it all out in a letter to your housemate. The best part is once it’s written you don’t even have to send it. Sometimes writing it is just as cathartic as actually saying the words out loud. And if you do give it to them, at least they’ll know how you feel.

#4 Don’t Leave Passive Aggressive Post-It Notes

I know it’s tempting, but just don’t do it. Being passive aggressive is one thing, but on pastel post it notes for the world to see? While it’ll probably remind you of Romy and Michele’s High School Reunion, it’s really just a step too far.

Oh, and avoid those fridge magnets you can spell words and sentences out with, especially if they’re the sweary kind. Because let’s just say it’s much easier to resolve things with your housemate if they aren’t faced with the words “YOU ARE A DICK” as they reach for their milk in the morning.

#5 Be Honest With Each Other

The bottom line is that you’ve got to be honest with your housemate. Fast. If you’re the one who screwed up, own your mistakes and make amends. If it was them, tell them how they made you feel.

Don’t let things fester; address it when it comes up. You don’t have to be blunt. Just be open and speak from the heart, and listen to them too. Remember, treat your housemates like family. They’re the ones who’ll be there for you.

(Lead image: Girls/HBO)