Culture

It’s About Time We Address The Aggressively Friendly Staff Who Work At Lush

"First thing I'm gonna do after lockdown is go to Lush so I can get three months of aggressive human interaction in about 10 minutes."

by Michelle Rennex  14 August 2020
lush

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When you think of cosmetic retailer Lush, few things come to mind: Luxurious bath bombs, fun mask displays set up on ice, expensive-ass shopping trips and and way too aggressively friendly salespeople who work the shop floor.

Now look, no hate to Lush — their products are actually fantastic. Their skincare and haircare is natural and ethical, they’ve got a great range, and I’m quite fond of those little stickers that show you who whipped up your cream in the factory. Lush is great.

But what the hell is going on with the employees there? Why does it genuinely feel like you’re being physically, mentally and emotionally attacked any time you walk into one of their stores?

Before you attack me, I understand that salespeople exist to, well, make sales and they likely have targets to hit. But there’s something strange about Lush’s approach to selling that puts everyone off from going into their stores.

Perhaps it’s the sheer aggression the employees have in approaching you the second your big toe crosses into the shop front. Or maybe it’s the inability for any of them to take a hint from “just looking” that’s what does it.

Either way, Lush employees have this both impressive and frightening talent of noticing people as soon as they walk into the store, latching on, and then never letting them go until they leave or buy something they don’t even want.

I guess getting that much service and attention is not necessarily a bad thing, though. There are other stores where the staff will literally scoff at you as you enter, as though you’re not even worthy to buy a piece of their overpriced, designer rip-offs *cough* Zara *cough* but far out, is there not a happy medium somewhere?

Lush is just SO much. Entering the store truly is an anxiety-inducing experience in itself — if your an introvert, good fucking luck. Even when you know the exact product you’re there to buy, Lush employees have a magical powers of persuasion that’ll have you buying another 17 other items you don’t even want — and you can’t say no because the staff are just so nice.

It’s not like Lush is cheap either. A good-size tub of cult-fave Mask of Magnaminty will set you back a hefty $32.95 these days. (But it does slap and you do pay for quality, so there is that.)

As much as we all shit on the overly-helpful nature of their employees, Lush staff always do go above and beyond when they serve you.

Sometimes it honestly feels like they’re willing and ready to let you wear the clothes off their own backs if that would convince you to buy a certain product. But between the constant product testing on their body parts and their personal recommendations with more information that necessary, it’s hard not to get sucked into whatever they’re selling.

Weirdly, it also feels like Lush employees have an encyclopedia of knowledge about the most random ingredients stored in their brains at all times, so it’s hard not to buy into whatever they’re talking about. No, seriously. At times it feels like they’re robots who are plugged into an information transfer system before they open the roller doors in the mornings.

But even with all of the aggressive sales techniques, the one thing a trip to Lush can guarantee is that you’re leaving the store feeling a million times better about yourself.

Mean Lush girls just don’t exist. Even if you go shopping looking like actual shit and there’s nothing that any sane person could compliment you about, the Lush girls will gas you up anyway

Greasy hair? That’s shiny to the staff. Dry skin? That just means you’re not oily, go you! Eye bags so bad that you end up looking like (the surely not-alive) Prince Phillip? No hun, that’s just a sign that you’re a hard and dedicated worker.

At the end of the day, even though Lush employees are sweet as hell, the sad reality is they’re never going to leave us alone. We are going to be stuck with their aggressive greetings and staff shadowing us around the store until the end of time.

But at least we all know where to head after the pandemic settles down and we need a five-month dose of human interaction in about five minutes.

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