Lupa J Sucks: “It’s Much Better To Set Boundaries And Maybe Offend Someone”
Lupa J’s music could be a good predictor of what Australian pop might sound like in the coming years.
They’ve been releasing music for nearly a decade now, consistently releasing innovative pop music that captures the zeitgeist of what’s happening across the global pop music landscape while also adding to the conversation. Also: their latest single, ‘Suspended Disbelief’, might be our best hope for survival if/when aliens finally make contact — with just one listen, I’m sure they’ll be momentarily tricked into believing we’re the more advanced lifeform. The track’s production threatens to rip itself apart but never does, while Lupa J’s vocals act as the calm in a particularly potent storm. It’s a captivating push and pull that’ll drag you in for multiple listens.
They’re set to DJ at the Naarm edition of Coalesce 005 on September 1st, which is the latest in a series of events put on by the forward-thinking record label Coalesce (one of my favourite labels in the country). To mark the occasion, Junkee caught up with Lupa to chat about the benefits of not always listening to people in the music industry (bad advice sucks), the limitations of gender norms and falling asleep listening to full-on psychology-related YouTube videos.
Junkee: A mistake that turned into an opportunity?
Not listening to some advice a very powerful person in the industry gave me about what kind of music I should have been releasing when I was 18. I was about to graduate from high school, and this very powerful manager had told me that it would be best for me to release a very short, maybe two or three track EP, that we could promote to hopefully reach an audience in the States. But at that point, I really, really wanted to make a long, more experimental body of work. So I said no, and insisted that I make a seven track EP, which lost me that relationship with that manager. So, in a lot of ways, that was a mistake, but I would say it turned into an opportunity in that it allowed me to then really take the time to figure out who I was, as a person and as a musician, before getting in front of a bigger audience.
I took many years after that point to really experiment with the kind of music I was making and also figure out who the hell I am. A lot of things about my identity I only figured out between 18 and 22. So in a lot of ways, I’m really glad I stood by what I wanted to do at that point. I think I lost some opportunities within the music industry because of it, but I think it was really important I did that. I’m not sure I would have coped if music that I wasn’t that sure about really blew up when I was 18. I’m a much stronger, much more emotionally mature person now, and I think I’m in a much better place now to just be releasing music. Releasing music is a really scary thing. It’s a really vulnerable thing. You’re really putting yourself out there. And yeah, I think if too much attention came to me at too young of an age, I’m not sure I would have been okay.
Worst advice you got and blindly followed?
Spending my money on certain music promo-related things. I won’t say exactly what it was, but being told by people in the industry that I should spend a large portion of a grant on something related to music promo that turned out to be kind of useless and not worth it. Like, a good amount of money. I’ve realised it’s just so much more worth it to, you know, find more creative ways of doing music promo and kind of do it in a more DIY way then spending a lot of money.
If someone says to you as an emerging musician ‘If you spend this magic number of money, you’re gonna get some kind of result’. It’s just often not true. There are so many other more important factors involved, like what kind of song you’re releasing and how you brand yourself, the content that you’ve made, and like what you’re doing with that content. So much more important than spending 1000s on promo. anyway,
The worst failure you’re up for sharing, and what you learned from it?
Trying to be a girl. What I learned from it? That I’m not one. No, but seriously, if I’m really honest, I would say that was my worst failure, in a lot of ways. It was never comfortable being a girl. And yeah, I had to learn from this extreme discomfort as a teenager, trying to fit into these ideals of femininity to then realise that I really hated all of that. And it really wasn’t me.
I really pushed myself beyond my limits into a really, really dark place as a teenager, trying to be a woman. I only really figured out many years later, though, that identifying as non-binary feels good for me. Identity, pronouns or not though, I think what I learned from it is that I don’t feel good trying to fit into those heteronormative gender normative ideals. Yeah.
Anything you used to be wrong about?
This is a big one I’m thinking about right now, but I would definitely say that I used to think not having boundaries, or crossing my boundaries, or sacrificing myself and my own needs, was worth doing to maintain relationships. It’s a big thing I’m currently in the process of really figuring out at the moment, like, what it means for me to set boundaries and why that’s important and why I can be a much better person to another person — if I’m not pushing myself beyond my limits to be whatever they want, or whatever they need.
In no way does sacrificing your needs for the sake of someone else create a healthy or better relationship. It’s much better to set boundaries and maybe offend someone or temporarily lose a connection for the sake of looking after yourself and being honest with yourself about the capacity you have for somebody else.
Embarrassing internet habit?
I haven’t done this as much recently but for a long time in order to get to sleep (because I have insomnia) I would watch pretty full on psychology-related videos. Like psychologists on YouTube, talking about things sometimes related to my life, sometimes not. Stuff like different diagnoses and different aspects of therapy.
I don’t know, I would just go into these YouTube rabbit holes on different things about mental health and something about them being based on this like intense subject matter, but given to me in a very professional, reassuring way, was the perfect thing for me to fall asleep to. For whatever reason.
Something very off-brand for you?
I think it would have to be that considering how much I think my Instagram at certain points has painted me as like a big party animal or club rat, but I’m actually quite socially anxious. I’ve been realising, just for the last, I would say, six months to a year, I actually don’t enjoy being at the club or hanging out in big groups most of the time. I’ve just been starting to realise recently how much it actually burns me out. I’ve been craving (much more than going to the club) intimate one or two or three-person hangs over a few drinks or dinner.
Bad health decision?
When I’m really stressed or going through it emotionally, I find myself thriving in the fine perimeter between the point of extreme productivity and just like total burnout. And I think I do that because if I’m just constantly working — even beyond the point, you know, you know where I should be eating or going to bed — I don’t have to feel my feelings. And I’ve started to notice how much I do that more and more so recently… but I’ve not been able to stop it entirely. I stay up ridiculously late, go to work on like two hours’ sleep pretty often. Because then I don’t have time to think.
What do you waste money on?
UberEats. Yeah, that’s 100%. If I’m ever wondering where all my money went, it’s definitely UberEats.
Worst procrastination habit?
Spending time on the internet or TikTok before going to bed. It’s kind of not what you’d say procrastination normally is because it’s at night, but I think it ruins my day the next day because I end up not falling asleep. I know — I know — that if I go on TikTok while I’m in bed I’m not gonna fall asleep. And yet…
Lupa J will be DJing as part of the Nararm edition of Coalesce 005, an event that’s being held as part of Now Or Never Festival. It’s all set to go down on September 1st at Max Watts, and they’ll be DJing alongside Alice Longyu Gao, SEBii, Prophecy Girl, Clair, Oh Boy, Marceline, Resenter and Mayari. Find out more and grab tickets here.
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Illustration credit: Matt Lauricella, @pigeonboyart