Biggest Search For Nessie In 50 Years? How About We Mind Our Business
How would you like it if people constantly took pictures of you in your house and called it a "sighting"?
The biggest search in decades for Nessie, aka, the Loch Ness (alleged) Monster was conducted last weekend. My hot take? We, as a society, should leave her alone. I am still raw from what happened to my girl, Freya the Walrus.
Nessie needs no introduction. Slaying day by day in the deep waters of the famous Loch Ness in Scotland since the 500s, she has been every mystery-obsessed child’s it-girl at one point or another. Believed to be anything from an alien, to an immortal plesiosaur, a giant eel, or even a collective hallucination — the truth of who Nessie is has eluded scientists and enthusiasts for decades. Has anyone stopped to consider she prefers it that way?
Apparently not. Over the weekend, deep in the Scottish Highlands, hundreds of volunteers joined a mass search for the “Loch Ness Monster” (like many historical women before, she is typecast as monstrous despite merely living her life). According to the search event’s organisers, Loch Ness Centre and a volunteer research team called Loch Ness Exploration, the search is the largest coordinated effort to find Nessie since the Loch Ness Investigation Bureau carried out a study in 1972 that involved a large-scale search.
This latest search was non-commercial and entirely volunteer-based (a great comfort to Nessie, who, like most famous cryptids, is a staunch anti-capitalist). In addition to those 300 vetted volunteers, there was also a live webcam of the loch’s surface drones fitted with infrared cameras flown over the loch, and a hydrophone deployed to detect underwater sounds of a Nessie nature. Because there is no end to Big Tech’s invasion of privacy agenda, or the entitlement to know women’s business, apparently.
In an interview with NBC, Alan McKenna, the head of Loch Ness Exploration, said that he hoped the event would inspire interest in Nessie for a new generation, saying, “I don’t want the Loch Ness mystery or interest in Loch Ness itself to diminish in any way whatsoever at all.” Moving words, Alan, but has anyone stopped to ask whether Ms Ness (I don’t know her relationship status) grows weary of intergenerational hunts of her person when she is simply minding her business?
Reports, sightings, the general stalking and harassment of Ms Ness date back to 565 AD. According to the Official Loch Ness Monster Sightings Register, the first official sighting for this year was lodged in April by Francesca McGarvey who said she saw, “a dark shape emerge from the water, travelling north toward Urquhart castle”. Poor Nessie, I cannot imagine what it must be like for a whole website to be dedicated to people taking photos of you every time they drive past your house. At least she continues to thrive in anonymity as any sightings from the weekend’s efforts are yet to be lodged.
Yes, mysteries and folklore have brought humanity together for centuries and the Nessie phenomenon is no different. But, consider for a moment, what it is like to be objectified as a mystery, to be robbed of your right to privacy because you come up for air every now and again. How would you like it if people constantly took pictures of you in your house and called it a “sighting”?
And if we one day find Nessie, what then? Will she meet the same tragic fate as Freya the Walrus? I say we leave her to her peace. Not only would we as a society be respecting her bodily autonomy, but let’s be real, mysteries are no fun once they’re solved.
Merryana Salem (they/them) is a proud Wonnarua and Lebanese–Australian writer, critic, teacher and podcaster on most social media as @akajustmerry. If you want, check out their podcast, GayV Club where they yarn about LGBTIQ media. Either way, they hope you ate something nice today.