Live Out Your Dreams By Being Cast On Neighbours As Scott And Charlene’s Love Child

The year was 1987. The shoulder pads were big, the hair was feathery, and Australia was enamoured with our very own pre-Brangelina power-couple: Scott and Charlene. Countless lovestruck Aussies and over 20 million people in the UK watched as local superstars Jason Donovan and Kylie Minogue exchanged vows to the soulful strains of Angry Anderson’s ‘Suddenly’ on the most iconic episode of Neighbours of all time.

But lest you believe their love was Disney-like in its purity, Neighbours‘s producers have just revealed that the next regular character they’re looking to cast on the long-running soap opera will be the couple’s fictional offspring: Daniel Robinson.

“Now in his early 20s, Daniel will return to Erinsborough to see where his parents fell in love. He will be introduced to his infamous uncle, Paul Robinson, played by Neighbours‘ stalwart Stefan Dennis. Dennis is the only remaining cast member to have shared the screen with Minogue and Donovan,” reveals the press release that I just read.

Apparently, Daniel Robinson has been referred to endlessly over the show’s recent history, but never spotted because Network Ten probably still can’t afford face-mashing software, what with all their recent troubles. So, for the record, if you’d like to audition for the role, your chances of getting hired will improve significantly if you look something like this:

Good luck, you poor ghostly freak.