Stoners Trying To Smuggle Pot Across America Got So Paranoid They Called The Cops On Themselves
Seth Rogen's next film has written itself.
It is a story of caution, retold many times: the age-old tale of two fully blazed friends off on a whirlwind adventure, only to be foiled by their own fully blazed minds. But this week, the myth became a legend when Idaho’s Rexburg Police Department released audio of a 911 call from two drug dealers who had consumed too much of their own product.
Ah, the stoner trope — it’s not always just a gross caricature written by some 40-year-old square.
The call, which was obtained by East Idaho News, was made by 22-year-old Leland Ayala-Doliente and 23-year-old Holland Sward, who were trying to smuggle almost 10 kilos of ganja across the Idaho border a year ago (and they’d been smoking it since they left Las Vegas, so). But upon entering the state, they noticed they were being tailed by a team of undercover police officers.
Eventually, they got so spooked by the cops, they called the cops — so they could “just get on with this whole thing”.
Probably.
The exponentially stoned pair pulled over to a safe spot on the highway — because safety first, people — and then told a 911 dispatcher their location. Officers who arrived to meet them said both men were waiting in the car with their hands behind their heads, and said, “we’re surrendering”.
Rexburg Police Captain Randy Lewis told EastIdahoNews.com no undercover officers had been following them at the time.
The transcript of the call shows how the two even tried to wave down cars in an attempt to surrender. It is… truly something.
–
Ayala-Dolitente: Hi, uh, we’re the two dumb asses that got caught trying to bring some stuff through your border and all your cops are just driving around us like a bunch of jack wagons and I’d just like for you guys to end it. If you could help me out with that, we would like to just get on with it.
Dispatcher: You got caught doing what?
Ayala-Dolitente: Ahh… okay. Um… We kind of got spooked here trying to bring some stuff across your Idaho border.
Dispatcher: Ok.
Ayala-Dolitente: And, yeah. A bunch of your cops driving around in a bunch of civilian cars not wanting to pick us up. I don’t know what’s the deal. I was just wondering if you could help us out and just end it.
Dispatcher: Ok… um….
Ayala-Dolitente: Yeah… if you could call one of them. I don’t know. It’s getting cold out here, man. I just want to get warm and just get on with this whole thing, so…
Dispatcher: Ok. Where you at right now?
Ayala-Dolitente: University Boulevard, right next to the gas station and Applebee’s. All your buddies are around us so if you could help us out that’d be great.
Dispatcher: Ok… alright. Is it just you or is there anybody else with you?
Ayala-Dolitente: It’s me and my buddy that I brought with me and then we have a dog that we were gonna bring back to its owner, but…
Dispatcher: Oh, ok.
Ayala-Dolitente: She’s a really nice dog. She’s not mean. She’s a pitbull…
Dispatcher: Oh… cool.
Ayala-Dolitente: She’s really cold in the car. She could use some food too.
Dispatcher: Ok. What was your name, man?
Ayala-Dolitente: It’s Leland.
Dispatcher: Leland… okay. Hold on just one second, okay? Stay on the phone with me.
Ayala-Dolitente: Alright. Thank you.
(speaking to Sward): He’s a nice guy.
Want me to jump in the air and click my heels twice or what?
Dispatcher: Do you guys have any guns or weapons or anything on you at all?
Ayala-Dolitente: Nope, we don’t have any of that stuff with us. Just a bunch of snacks and stuff.
Dispatcher: Alright. I just wanna make sure. They’re just curious.
Ayala-Dolitente: Yeah, yeah. We tried walking away from the car a couple times and that didn’t work. We tried waving them down and that didn’t work, so I don’t know what’s going on here.
Dispatcher: Ok. I do have one of my marked units. He’s on his way over there, so he’s on his way to meet you.
Ayala-Dolitente: Alright. Thank you.
–
Listen to the “dumb asses” in full here, if you think audio could possibly make this any funnier:
–