Let’s Judge America’s New TV Shows Just By Watching Their Trailers
It was 'Upfronts Week' in America. That means new shows. Oh God, so many new shows.
In North American television circles, the third week of May is officially known as Upfronts Week. It may sound like an underpants festival, but it’s basically the time when big networks get together with the press and major advertisers, announce their upcoming primetime schedules, and then quibble over who’s paying what for what ad space and when. Amongst all the news of shows renewed (Community, Parks And Recreation) and shows cancelled (Smash, Whitney, Up All Night, 1600 Penn, Happy Endings, shaky-camera cop drama Southland, and that most orange of shows, Burn Notice), were announcements of picked-up pilots and new additions to the American viewing schedule.
My God, were there a lot of new shows announced. We haven’t yet received a look at some of the more intriguing ones, like About A Boy, based on the Nick Hornby novel and directed by Jon Favreau (star of Swingers and destroyer of Iron Man 2); or the American version of Aussie legal hit, Rake, starring Greg Kinnear; or the CW’s amusing-sounding upcoming period drama Reign (led by young Aussie model, Adelaide Kane), about a teenage Mary, Queen Of Scots (lols).
But geez, there have been a lot of other shows that we’ve managed to score a glimpse at over the past few days. Like A LOT. I don’t think you understand how many new TV shows there are. So many. Without further ado, here’s a quick round-up of what you’ll be illegally downloading over the coming months and beyond.
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FAMILY FUN
Super Fun Night
Produced by redhead legend Conan O’Brien, Super Fun Night unites Australian export and MTV Movie Award darling Rebel Wilson with Lauren Ash (Lars And The Real Girl) and Liza Lapira (Don’t Trust The B In Apartment 23), as three friends who decide to abandon their usual weekend motto of “always together, always inside”, and instead venture outdoors for their first Friday night out in 13 years.
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Trophy Wife
Trophy Wife follows reformed party girl, Kate (Malin Akerman), in her new role as Pete’s (Bradley Whitford) third wife, and her casual attempts to navigate his two ex-wives — Marcia Gay Harden and former SNL-alumni Michaela Watkins — and their ever dysfunctional family units. The best part of the trailer is when Phyllis from The Office makes a cameo.
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Welcome To The Family
From executive producers Mike Sikowitz (Rules of Engagement and Friends) and Jamie Tarses (Happy Endings), this wacky comedy charts the family issues that arise when white girl, Molly, and Latino dude, Junior, fall in love and make babies. Ooh, so it’s kinda like Crazy/Beautiful? We’d totally watch this.
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Us & Them
Us & Them is an American version of the British hit, Gavin and Stacey, starring RORY GILMORE! (also known as Alexis Bledel), cult hero Michael Ian Black, and the mum from Malcolm In The Middle. It’s all done in shaky-cam style, which is unnecessary, and the guy who plays Gavin doesn’t button-up his shirts enough. But still, it has potential.
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DAD JOKES
Dads
This new comedy from Family Guy guy, Seth MacFarlane, focuses on thirty-something friends and video game designers, Warner (Giovanni Ribisi!) and Eli (Seth Green!), and their relationships with their annoying fathers (Martin Mull and Peter Rieger). We understand that Seth (Green) has a long history with that other Seth (MacFarlane), but why is Giovanni Ribisi doing this to himself?? WHY??
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Surviving Jack
A show that combines SVU’s Elliot Stabler (aka Christopher Meloni), a sweet selection of scrunchies, and more ’90s pop culture references than a Buzzfeed news feed? Hmm, we’re intrigued. Surviving Jack is another family comedy exploiting the when-mum’s-away-dad-comes-out-to-play premise, punctuated by moments of useless-dad-does-good. Uh, did we mention Christopher Meloni is in it?
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Sean Saves the World
Sean Saves the World follows Sean Hayes (of Will & Grace fame) as a divorced gay dad and chronic workaholic, as he learns to take care of his “oh, she’s at that awkward age where sex becomes a thing” daughter. Cue the laugh track!
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The Michael J. Fox Show
Well, by now it definitely seems like everyone involved in American TV programming has daddy issues. Created by executive producer Sam Laybourne (Cougar Town), this show sees the man formerly known as Alex P. Keaton returning to prime-time as a newsman (and dad!) trying to revive his career after being diagnosed with Parkinson’s. See, this is why Michael J. Fox is the best; that rolling chair/Parkinson’s joke at the 1.40 mark made us lol even though it really should be making us cry.
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COPS
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
The buddy-cop comedy is a genre revisited time and time again and always promises a few laughs. Brooklyn 99 is the latest offering from writer Michael Schur (Parks and Recreation) and is pretty much what happens when you put Andy Samberg in the tried and tested format. Hilarity in speedos ensues.
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Ironside
Ironside is a remake of the ol’ ’60s series. This one stars awesome stare-face dude, Blair Underwood, as “a tough, sexy but acerbic police detective relegated to a wheelchair after a shooting” (sounds sexy but acerbic).
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Mind Games
Mind Games stars big-screen heroes Steve Zahn and Christian Slater as Mentalist or Monk-type quirky psychological detectives. Surely this will stop being a genre soon?
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The Blacklist
Hannibal Lector meets 24. The Blacklist is a series you’ll seriously enjoy if the words “James Spader” coupled with “world’s most wanted man” and “list of criminals you don’t even know exist yet” are your idea of a good time. Who are we kidding, nobody is going to watch this.
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SUPERNATURAL, FANTASY AND OTHER NERD STUFF
Marvel’s Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D
Straight from the mind of Joss Whedon comes Marvel’s Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D, the iconic comics publisher’s first TV venture. In what we imagine will be nerd catnip, S.H.I.E.L.D sees Clark Gregg reprise his role as Agent Phil Coulson from Iron Man 2, Thor and The Avengers in order to assemble a highly select group of agents with a very particular set of skills to “investigate the new, the strange and the unknown around the globe, protecting the ordinary from the extraordinary.”
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Almost Human
Similarly, fanboys, fangirls and other assorted freaks should be eagerly anticipating the JJ Abrams-produced, Almost Human, a buddy-cop/android drama set 35 years in the future and starring Karl Urban, Lili Taylor, Mackenzie ‘Bedroom Eyes’ Crook and Minka Kelly. We’re kinda thinking The Fifth Element meets The Matrix meets Bicentennial Man.
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Dracula
From the producers of Downton Abbey and the director of The Tudors comes another classy period remake, Dracula. Staring Jonathon Rhys Meyers as the pale-faced, strongly cheek-boned titular hero (a vampire with love as “his obsession and revenge in his blood”), the show follows him as he does his vampire-y thing all over Victorian London.
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Once Upon A Time In Wonderland
A spin-off of the ridiculously successful Once Upon A Time, Once Upon A Time In Wonderland stars Aussie Sophie Lowe as Alice and 3rd Rock From The Sun‘s John Lithgow as the voice of the White Rabbit. After having been declared insane for telling non-stop stories about disappearing cats and talking rabbits, the show chronicles Alice’s second trip down the rabbit hole and her attempts to find her lost love.
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Sleepy Hollow
“Why do we need another Sleepy Hollow,” we hear you ask, “when Tim Burton already made a pretty good one not too long ago?” Well, this Sleepy Hollow is “a modern-day retelling” of Washington Irving’s Ichabod Crane classic, which must mean that there’s a scene in there where he tries to outrun a headless horseman while simultaneously attempting to Instagram it (or something). Our favourite part in the trailer is the bit when the cop says “he described the man that we saw in perfect detail”, which, NO SHIT, how else do you describe “a headless horseman”.
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Hannah Wolff is a writer currently studying Art Theory and interning at Junkee. The twittersphere confounds her.