Toward A Unified Theory Of Timothée Chalamet And Kylie Jenner
This is my multiverse of madness.
Trying to rationalise why Kylie Jenner and Timothée Chalamet would be dating feels exactly like the Wiki Game.
If you don’t know it, it’s where you’re given two unrelated topics and tasked with navigating your way from one Wikipedia page to the other using only in-text hyperlinks. In my head, Jenner and Chalamet exist in completely separate realms of time and space. Kylie is modern Instagram royalty. Timothée doesn’t really know what Instagram is.
Despite not existing in the same universe, here they are. Their rumoured coupledom proves that multiverse hopping is real, and since I’m such a hopeless romantic, I’m on a mission to untangle the threads of fate that brought them together.
After all, I’m pretty damn good at the Wiki Game.
Kylie Loves A Kid Cudi Stan
A cursory glance through Timothée’s Wikipedia page reveals that Kid Cudi is one of his biggest inspirations. According to a profile in GQ, Timothée spent a few hours backstage at a show with Kid Cudi aka “one of his personal gods”, and raced home to record notes from the conversation as a reminder of what he wants from his career.
You know who else admires Kid Cudi, so much so that his own stage name pays him homage? Why, it’s Kylie’s ex and father of her two children, of course. Travis Scott got his stage name from his favourite uncle and — would you look at that — Kid Cudi, whose real name is Scott Mescudi. Who knows, maybe stanning Kid Cudi is the way to Kylie Jenner’s heart.
He Is Kim K Approved
Timothée is so into Kid Cudi that he scored an invite to his intimate birthday dinner, an event immortalised in this pic from Kim Kardashian featuring her then-husband Kanye and future boyfriend Pete Davidson. It’s impressive company for Timothée to keep, and he must have impressed Kim enough to be included in said photo. Which would surely go a long way in Kylie’s eyes, am I right?
How Could They Not Meet?
We’ve now determined that it’s possible Timothée met Kylie through famous mutuals like Kid Cudi or Kim Kardashian. But what if we eliminate them from the line-up altogether? If I followed the first association that comes to mind in true Wiki Game fashion, can I get from Timothée to Kylée?
Let’s see here. Timothée is famously friends with Florence Pugh from their roles in Little Women as well as Dune 2. Florence Pugh is known for many things, including but not limited to the debacle that was Don’t Worry Darling where she starred alongside Harry Styles. Now most known for his solo career, Harry Styles made his musical debut in boy band One Direction. You know who else was in One Direction and famously left the group? Zayn Malik, of course, who has a daughter with supermodel Gigi Hadid, sister of Bella Hadid. Both Hadid models frequently hang out with Kendall Jenner, through which they have also formed a close friendship with Kylie. I did it!
In the end, they probably met at any number of industry events they both famously attend, or even more likely, because someone sent the other one a DM. Nevertheless, I refuse refuse to believe that this union is a result of every single fact that laid out above. All the signs were there, and really anyone could have seen this coming. At this stage, though, it may be too late to act.
Lia Kim is a writer and producer at Junkee. She tweets at @kim_liaa.