Kreayshawn Is Pregnant, Says “It Sucks”

Kreayshawn is allowed to do whatever she wants with her body. It’s one of the key philosophies underpinning the “bad bitch” sub-culture that she subscribes to, and one of the key philosophies underpinning the entirety of feminism, too.

But Kreayshawn is an ex-dealer, ex-pimp, one-viral-hit-wonder who starts beefs with whoever (Lil B, Azealia Banks, Rick Ross, Nicki Minaj, The-Game — you name it), revels in her brat persona and “authentic weirdness“, and appeals the most to pre-teen girls. So: the internet is a bit worried.

That she announced her pregnancy last night via a post on her Tumblr — which was modeled on a poorly-pimped MySpace page — is one sign that Kreayshawn may not be ready for this.

The post itself is another.

Yeah, I’m pregnant! It sucks. If your not pregnant don’t get pregnant for a while because there’s all these symptoms that make you feel weird and hurt and are uncomfortable and 9 months is really really long especially towards the end. You have to pack away all your slutty crop tops and high waisted shorts. Your stressed all the time and in pain and bored on top of that because, at the end of the day if your friends cant smoke with you or even around you they will find something better to do. And when you do ge to go out with some friends your feet and back usually hurt within an hour. Hopefully I will be doing the post in a few months saying how it was all worth it but, I am sure I will be dead from lack of sleep and breastfeeding and changing poopie diapers that I won’t have time to post that. So holla.

It doesn’t look great, does it? This is no doubt a very confusing and conflicted time for Kreayshawn — she’s only 23 — but “it sucks” maybe shouldn’t be the first emotion she publicly conveys about it. Secondly, mourning the loss of “slutty crop tops and high waisted shorts” feels a bit misdirected.

Also, as evinced in the footage below, it is unclear whether she actually even understands what breakfast is.

But if you look a little closer at the Tumblr post, all she really seems to be doing is honestly documenting her reservations, while warning young women off getting pregnant too early. Points for that. Also, she’s not letting any of her awful-sounding friends smoke around her — which sure, shouldn’t be worthy of congratulations, but for someone who loves weed so much that a whole GQ shoot was themed around it, it’s a noble rule.

Plus, she’s looking forward to saying “it was all worth it”, which is a nice, hopeful thing to be looking forward to. We wish all the best for you, Kreayshawn! Congratulations!