Kids Talk About Online Bullying

Kids these days. They’re growing up in a rapidly changing world, with the kind of technology and opportunities and risks not even their cool older cousins could have imagined. And with such an increasing reliance on technology as their primary method of not just communicating but learning and engaging with the world, they’re inevitably going to encounter some online bullying. 

As a journalist, I’ve had my own experiences with online pile-ons. They suck. You feel like the entire world is screaming at you. So, imagine how it feels to be a kid who logs onto Snapchat or Discord and sees their friends and fellow students mercilessly teasing them about, well, just about anything. 

To get an idea of what it’s like being a kid in the age of online bullying, I spoke to some kids! We’ve changed their names, but Ellie and Anna are best friends. They’re in year seven and starting to experience online bullying, sometimes from the sidelines, sometimes as a victim, and occasionally as a perpetrator. 

Hey guys, so just to start out, when was your first experience with bullying?

Anna: I’ve been bullied a fair bit since primary school. I think other kids maybe reckon I’m a bit weird, but it’s been pretty hurtful. 

Ellie: I haven’t really been bullied because my primary school was really small and everyone was kind of friends, but high school has been a bit different. There’s lots of people who just stick in their own groups and there’s been a bit of bullying between those groups. 

How did the bullying make you feel, Anna? 

Anna: Horrible! I remember just feeling like I had no friends and that everybody hated me. 

What kind of bullying have you seen online? 

Anna: Mostly it’s just little stuff like what you wear or maybe just saying the wrong thing. 

Ellie: There was a photo that went around of me that I didn’t like and people just kept sending it to our chat and I really didn’t want them to. 

What about bullying to other people?

Anna: I think we’re a bit lucky because most of our friends are pretty nice but I’ve definitely heard of people who have gotten a lot of really mean messages and they haven’t really stopped. Like a girl at school just had heaps of kids calling her really mean names on Snapchat all day and sending her photos that were teasing her. It kept happening all day. 

Does that happen often?

Anna: Not all the time. Mostly we’re just having fun chatting. 

What apps are you normally using to communicate on?

Ellie: Mostly Discord and Snapchat. And also iMessages. 

What do you think you should do when you see that type of bullying happening?

Ellie: If it’s one of my friends I try to talk to them in person or call them and talk to them. I want them to know that they’re my friend and that I care about them. 

How do you guys think online bullying can be prevented?

Ellie: Just try to be nicer to each other!

Anna: I think there’s always going to be teasing but bullying is a bit different. I think it would be good if we could just block anybody who tries to bully us or any of our friends. 

Anna and Ellie were recently involved in an altercation on their group discord chat that really upset both of them. Anna had sent some photos to the chat that Ellie had asked her not to send, and Ellie had, in return, said some mean things about Anna’s weight. The argument got rather intense and had both of the girls very upset with each other. 

You guys were recently involved in a bit of an argument yourselves. Can you talk about that?

Ellie: We’re friends again now! We just got into a bit of an argument about stupid stuff and said some things that were really hurtful. Anna had sent some photos in our group chat of me that I didn’t want her to send, and then I said some stuff about her that was really mean. 

You were both really upset with each other, right? 

Anna: Yeah we were. 

What do you think it is about having these arguments on apps that makes it so much worse? I know you were both saying some pretty mean things to each other, but I really doubt that you would have said those things in real-life. There’s this idea that because you can’t see the other person’s face, and see that they’re upset, being mean to each other on apps becomes a lot worse because you’re not seeing the hurt that your words are causing. Do you think the apps made it easier to be the bully? 

Ellie: Yeah that might be true. I think that it just got really bad really quickly and because we weren’t together we couldn’t see that the other person was also really upset. 

Anna: Yeah I just thought you were being really mean and didn’t care at all. 

Ellie: That’s what I thought too!

Ellie I remember you saying you just wanted to keep talking so you could have the last word, but that made things a lot worse because you both kept escalating the argument. Do you think you would walk away and not engage next time?

Ellie: Yeah I think next time it would be better to not actually text each other when we’re upset. My mum actually told me that you should just not reply and I think I’ll do that next time. 

Anna: Me too. 

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Important anti-bullying work needs your support. That’s why we’re calling on you to help make Dolly’s dream of a kinder and safer world for Australia’s kids and communities a reality. Join us this Do It For Dolly Day on May 13.