ROFL, Bacon & The Shrug: Our Guide To The Best New Emojis

Everyone knows planned obsolescence is a sham. We’re all sick of our phones nagging like petulant children in a supermarket queue for us to upgrade our operating systems. But we all do it. We have to. There are 72 new emojis due to be released soon and it’s no fun being illiterate. So here’s a guide to some of the best candidates they’ve revealed.

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ROFL

The Face with Tears of Joy emoji is a classic. In 2015 it even became the first emoji to be named The Oxford Dictionary’s ‘word of the year’ (see what I mean about risking illiteracy?). In fact if you don’t have Tears of Joy in your frequently-used emoji dock you should probably reassess some of your life choices. But there are some hilarious situations that you’re technically not supposed to glean any joy from. Like if you just witnessed a child destroy a painstakingly constructed Lego sculpture worth $15,000, then you’d start mass-texting some ROFLs. 

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Lying Face

Would’ve been nice to have this in our lives sooner. How many relationships and friendships could’ve been saved if this cute little guy had been there to defuse the situation?

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Shrug

Gunna miss this thing ¯\_(ツ)_/¯. But that’s progress I guess.

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Fingers Crossed

How have they not released this yet? We live in an aspirational culture with a fragile job market, so many texts are going to involve wishing someone luck or hoping something will turn out fine.

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Bacon

Obviously useful if you need someone to pick up some bacon, are asking someone if they’d like to share some bacon, or are just generally enthused about bacon. See also: the Avocado, the Kiwifruit, the Pancakes, the Peanuts, the Stuffed Flatbread, the Baguette Bread, the Croissant, and if you’re ever making a weird paella thing that features a leftover chicken drumstick they’ve got you covered. Also, the new Drooling Face might be relevant here in most cases (though this new emoji maybe looks a little too bemused and stupefied to be truly excited about food, not sure).

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Shaka

They’re officially naming this one the Call Me Hand but we all know it’s the international symbol for having a sick one.

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Dancing Man

Work it guys!

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Nauseated

The expression on this emoji’s face is almost too real. You should probably be careful sending it if you’re only a little bit crook. You don’t want people panicking.

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Face Palm

For when you have to buy a new phone because your old one can’t handle your updated iOS.