Jude Law Tried His Best To Explain Why Dumbledore Won’t Be Gay in ‘Fantastic Beasts 2’

In a twist that most Harry Potter fans would never have expected, Albus Dumbledore has become the poster child for gay representation in Hollywood, the battlefield being the new Fantastic Beasts film, The Crimes of Grindelwald.

J.K. Rowling confirmed that Dumbledore was canonically gay way back in 2007, but that fact wasn’t actually represented in the books. So we all held hope that the Fantastic Beasts prequel films would do a better job of showcasing queer Dumbledong, especially considering The Crimes of Grindelwald concerned Dumbledore’s paramour, Gellert Grindelwald and his… crimes.

But no, we’re not allowed anything good. Apart from the fact that Grindelwald is being played by noted shitbag Johnny Depp, it was also confirmed that Dumbledore would not be “explicitly gay” in the film, meaning he would not be getting any wizard peen. Or, you know, any overt signs of his sexuality like any straight person automatically gets on film. Werewolves get more overt representation than queer people in the Harry Potter films.

“Not explicitly,” the film’s director, David Yates, told Entertainment Weekly, about whether Dumbledore will actually be represented as gay in the film. “But I think all the fans are aware of that. He had a very intense relationship with Grindelwald when they were young men. They fell in love with each other’s ideas, and ideology and each other.”

IF THERE ISN'T A GRAPHIC GAY SEX SCENE OF YOUNG DUMBLEDORE (Jude Law) IN FANTASTIC BEASTS 2 THEN THIS. SHIT. ISN'T. CANNON.

— Phil Dingo (@thephildingo) July 17, 2018

Jude Law, who plays Yung Dumbledore, has now weighed in as a straight man, saying in an interview with Entertainment Weekly that while he did confirm with Rowling that Dumbledore is in fact gay, he is kinda fine ignoring that.

“But as with humans, your sexuality doesn’t necessarily define you; he’s multifaceted. I suppose the question is: How is Dumbledore’s sexuality depicted in this film?”

The interesting implication here is that representing someone as gay on the screen DOESN’T make them multi-faceted. Queer people only have one facet, the gay facet, apparently?

“What you’ve got to remember, this is only the second Fantastic Beasts film in a series and what’s brilliant about Jo’s writing is how she reveals her characters, peels them to the heart over time. You’re just getting to know Albus in this film, and there’s obviously a lot more to come. We learn a little about his past in the beginning of this film, and characters and their relationships will unfold naturally which I’m excited to reveal. But we’re not going to reveal everything all at once.” he continued.

I dunno. Maybe this means that Dumblefore will bang in the later films?

*starts chant* Dumbledore must fuck, Dumbledore must fuck.

"he strode off along the pavement, drawing many curious glances due to the flamboyantly cut suit of plum velvet that he was wearing" – hp&hbp, chapter 13

PUT JUDE LAW IN FLAMBOYANTLY CUT SUIT OF PLUM VELVET, YOU COWARDS

— tasha (@sadfishkid) July 12, 2018

My excitement for fantastic beasts is so low compared to when it was first announced

You're gonna have jude law play a gay man and erase the gay bit? Specifically when said gay man was seen as a big, wise, good, influential figure in the lore?

Youre gonna have DEPP IN IT?

— Rads? (@hulknaps) July 12, 2018

Now, hang on, folks. Before we all attack Jude Law for saying Dumbledore isn't gay in the new film, let's just be patient and see how the series plays out. It's highly likely that Albus will turn gay later on, in the same way many of us did, by losing a bet with a leprechaun.

— Jack Bryant (@JackWBryant) July 17, 2018