Politics

Jordan Raskopoulos Wants To Crowdfund A Pirate Ship To “Sink” ScoMo’s Captain Cook Replica

Yo ho, me hearties!

by Tom Clift  25 January 2019
Jordan Raskopoulos wants to crowdfund a pirate ship to sink Scott Morrison's Captain Cook replica

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How do you stop a replica of Captain Cook’s HMS Endeavour? With a replica pirate ship, of course. But comedian Jordan Raskopoulos’ plans to crowdfund such a vessel have been stymied by those hornswagglers at GoFundMe.

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Raskopoulos launched her campaign on Tuesday, following Scott Morrison’s announcement that the government will spend $6.7 million to send a replica of Captain Cook’s famous ship on a 14-month trip around Australia. The voyage will commemorate the 250 year anniversary of Cook’s circumnavigation of the country, despite the fact that that never actually happened.

“That wretched land lubber Scott Morrison is funding a replica of the Endevour [sic] to circumnavigate Australia,” wrote Raskopoulos on her GoFundMe page. “Help me raise funds to build a great pirate ship, hire a fearsome crew and purchase many a cannon and cutlas so that I might take to the seas and sink The Endevour.”

Unfortunately, the campaign to build the “Brown Pearl” only raised $682 of its $6.7 million target before it was shut down by GoFundMe for violating its Terms & Conditions.

“GoFundMe cannot process payments for “knives, explosives, ammunition, firearms or other weapons or accessories,” read a message from the service posted by Raskopoulos to Twitter.

The Axis of Awesome frontwoman has since clarified that she isn’t actually planning on buying an antique cannon, and that the funds will be used “to acquire a sea vessel and pirate props/costumes so that a pirate themed theatrical protest performance may take place”.

“Scott Morrison is a salty dog,” she told NITV on Thursday. “If he wants to sink taxpayer doubloons into a glorification of Colonialism then he’d better watch out for pirates!”