John Oliver Has Some Very Harsh Words For Birds, AKA “Disgusting Sky Mice”

Last Week Tonight has been off for the last few weeks, leaving a John Oliver-sized hole in our hearts. Thankfully, the HBO late night host has been feeding our addiction with weekly web exclusives, in which he basically rails against whatever random thing seems to have been irritating him at the time of recording.

This week it was birds, or as he calls them, “just a shitty sequel to the dinosaurs.”

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Among those singled out for particular attention were hummingbirds (“obese bees in need of a nose job”) ostriches (“first draft flamingos”) and swans and pelicans (“monsters from a fish’s nightmare that came to life”).

Penguins, on the other hand, were given a free pass, with the comedian clearly realising that not even he could turn an audience against penguins.

Oliver has previous described himself as a “near-sighted parrot”, which suggests this whole thing may stem from a place of deep self-loathing. He ended the segment by saying that he hopes each and every bird “flies into a wind turbine.”

Last Week Tonight returns on September 25, which cannot come quickly enough.