Culture

Everyone’s Making Fun Of Brits For Complaining Their Heatwave So Hot It’s… Melting Ice Cream?

"Joke country".

by Joseph Earp  1 August 2020
Ice cream meme from The Sun

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I want to get one thing out of the way, straight up: I was born in England, I lived there till I was 11, and I can confirm that yes, sometimes, that country gets hot.

Every few Summers, there’s a fairly considerable heatwave that means it’s unpleasant to walk around in anything more than shorts and a t-shirt, and it can occasionally be hard to get to sleep.

Now, if that sounds like a muted, fairly non-committal assessment of heat, that’s because it is. England gets hot, but it gets nothing like Australia hot. English people do not understand spending weeks of the year wondering about in a haze, your thighs sticking to the inside of your pants, the wheel of your car burning your hand.

And because they don’t understand such heat, they have a poor frame of reference for the weather generally, which means that sometimes they try to make their heatwave sound worse than it is.

Case in point? Today, notorious rag The Sun, tried to prove the UK was hot by… holding an ice cream out in the sun?

Even worse, the ice cream takes like, an agonisingly long time to melt.

I mean, just watch it:

That’s not heat. That’s not even close to heat. And so, like clockwork, Aussies are in The Sun‘s mentions, telling Brits how wrong they are.

Oh dear. Like I say, I feel an urge, sometimes, to defend my home country when English people complain about the heat. But this time… I mean, you’re on your own, guys. That’s all that I can say.