Here’s A Video Of One Direction Smoking A Joint In A Car
It's about time.
If any members of One Direction were going to star in a leaked video smoking weed in a car, it was always going to be Zayn Malik and Louis Tomlinson. I say this without knowing anything about One Direction; I’m judging them based on tattoos and demeanor, and the Daily Mail article which accompanied the clip, promising a “shocking video exposing the dark side of the squeaky clean boy band”.
Shocking, perhaps. But certainly orchestrated; as is shown time and time again — Lindsay, Britney, Christina, Justin — the only way for a tween star to progress to the next stage of their career is to change their image by going bad. “Are we allowed to talk contraband in this?” a member of their team asks as the clip opens. “Yeah, that’s what it’s about,” Louis replies. Big hint there.
The film was shot by Louis, who was in a car with Zayn and three members of their crew on their way out of Peru. “So here we are, leaving Peru, joint lit, happy days,” Louis says. “What do you think, Zayn, about that kind of content?”
“Very controversial,” Zayn replies, as the joint gets passed around.
“That’s just Zayn warming up before the show,” Louis deadpans. “Zayn takes his job very seriously. He makes sure he goes through a two-hour intense warm up regime before every show, just to get himself in the zone. One very, very important factor to Zayn’s warm up, of course, is Mary Jane herself. Which I will present to him now.”
And just like that, we got our latest moral panic:
“How’s that culture?” Louis asks Zane.
“It’s great culture, this,” Zane replies, looking down at his joint. “It’s going to be even greater culture once we get to Jamaica.”
During the trip, the bandmates discuss One Direction’s last book: “So girly and not cool,” says Zayn. He wants a book more like Kid Rock’s latest: “Twice the size. Hardback. Black. Simple writing. The whole thing full of sick pictures, and just captions from each place. No bullshit, no like, ‘My favourite colour’s blue’; ‘My favourite colour’s red’ … Literally just all sick pictures … instead of boring crap.”
“Yeah, I know, same old shit that I’m sure the fans are tired of reading,” Louis agrees.
If this video isn’t a completely orchestrated move to change a teen band’s image, I don’t know what is. “I’m just wondering now. I’m sitting here in Peru wondering, will this come back to me?” muses Louis. “Who knows? Maybe. Maybe not.”