These Extremely Stoned Halloween Makeup Tutorials Are The Funniest Thing In The Entire World
She takes edibles and then paints her face and it's perfect.
If you’re not aware, Halloween makeup tutorials are something of a booming genre on the YouTubes these days. The basic premise is that people teach you how to dress up as something spooky by painstakingly going through the entire procedure. Cool!
With All Hallows Eve imminent, people are starting to stress about what to wear on the spookiest of nights. Sexy cat? Sexy rat? Where on the spectrum of ghost, ghoul or goblin will you fall? This is the conundrum that Halloween makeup tutorials aim to help you solve. They’re doing the dark lord’s work, and they’re very good at what they do.
But, also, that’s boring! So, luckily we have Brandi Fernandez, or BrandiTV on YouTube who is by far the funniest person to ever slather their face in latex.
I know what you’re thinking — wait, no I don’t.
Why is this person so funny? What’s the secret of her success? What’s her schtick?
It’s pretty simple — she eats a whole bunch of edibles before her video, gets fucked up, and then proceeds to put on a full face of complicated spooky makeup. It’s literally the funniest thing I’ve ever seen in my entire life.
idk if anyone’s ever watched this girl before. but she eats edibles and then does makeup tutorials and i’m crying pic.twitter.com/kx3JSBbrGS
— ßobbi (@bobbi_sewell) October 14, 2018
So, let’s go through five of her best Spooky Halloween Makeup Tutorials and enjoy.
The Nun Makeup
Alright, this is mostly just a genuinely spooky spooky nun.
In this video, we get a LOT of giggling at nothing, which is pretty enjoyable, but by far the standout moment is when she accidentally eats a blood capsule. It’s extremely good.
I remember a creative writing lecturer telling our class once that there’s never been a good or funny drug story — the experiences are untransferable. You have to either experience it yourself, or shut the fuck up. Many horrible years of watching untalented dudes unsuccessfully try to imitate high people for laughs really reinforced this to me.
But I think these videos are the only possible exception to the rule — watching someone put on a face full of spoopy makeup while high is hilarious.
Ursula From The Little Mermaid Makeup
The thing about most of Brandi’s videos is that she’s not untalented, you know? She’s much better than most people are painting faces and latex and junk.
But this video is wonderful because it is just a massive, horrifying failure. It’s worth watching it simply because she slowly and stonedly transforms herself into a purple monstrosity, closer to gnome than sea-witch.
I dunno, it’s kinda stupid to like really dissect silly things like this, but I think there’s something helplessly funny about people laughing uncontrollably. It’s inherently funny. It’s why bloopers are good.
You know who is probably underrated in the bloopers community? Rachel from Friends, she’s got a great laugh.
The Grinch Makeup
This one is mostly great because there is a tiny dog in it.
Scary Demon Makeup
Comes out of the gate super hard when she forgets her own friend’s name multiple times, and keeps calling her ‘Chelsea’.
A fun thing is when she calls birthday hats “happy birthday hats”. I dunno, why does that kill me?
Anyway, the real MVP of this clip is the poisonous zombie blood that she gets in her mouth. Also, I’m pretty sure all that paint is not meant to be put on your face. But I guess you have to suffer for your art.
Pennywise Makeup
Definitely the funniest of all the videos, I think she’s probably the highest as well, so I wonder if there’s any form of correlation?
“I’ll tell you what, I don’t feel sexy right now.”
“I could be Pennywise’s evil sister or something, like Quartersmart, I dunno!”
This part took me TF out??? pic.twitter.com/SbrAqSz9WI
— bet. (@_prettyfried) October 16, 2018
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Patrick Lenton is the Entertainment Editor at Junkee. He Tweets @patricklenton.