Here’s A Helpline For All Those Boomers Uncontrollably Angry About 16-Year-Old Greta Thunberg
Can't stand that a teenager is trying to save the world? Call now.
Greta Thunberg is the public face of a brand new environmental movement, one unconcerned with making people feel better about all the work that they’re not doing, and deeply invested in changing up the status quo. She’s also 16-years-old.
That latter point is not really relevant, all these things considered. Reading easy-to-access and peer-reviewed climate reports doesn’t require you to be of any particularly advanced age. Nor does looking out of your window and noticing that everything’s getting hotter, windier, and significant less stable in every imaginable way.
But Thunberg’s age is something to keep in mind when encountering middle-aged men who are thrown into new apoplectic fits every single time the teenager speaks.
Surely boomers — who have spent decades fashioning the entire world to their selfish liking — shouldn’t be afraid of a young woman almost out of highschool? After all, they hold all the strings, and seem content to pull them right up till the moment they die off, taking the world out with them in a blaze of apocalyptic glory. Why should Thunberg rattle them?
Who knows. But one thing is for sure: Greta Thunberg is definitely rattling them. There’s an entire breed of middle-aged man that spend every moment of their free time wading into comments sections to chuck a tantrum about a teenager who doesn’t want the planet to die. Needless to say, this is not a good use of the one life you get to live. But try telling that to Jim, whose Facebook profile picture is either his car, him in a bucket hat, or him waggling a big fish he caught right at the camera.
That’s where the kind folks over at the ABC come in. In a short skit, they’ve introduced a brand new helpline, designed to soothe those blokes who just can’t stand that someone’s not shutting up and letting them run things all by themselves.
Turns out Thunberg herself is pleased with the skit. “Hang in there!” she wrote while sharing the clip on Twitter. “Help is available.”
Watch the whole glorious thing below:
THE GRETA THUNBERG HELPLINE:
For adults angry at a child. pic.twitter.com/JAtIKyG4Va— Mark Humphries (@markhumphries) September 26, 2019