Goosebumps Author R.L. Stine Did A Reddit AMA, Instantly Became Everyone’s Favourite Old Man

To young’uns who came of age in the mid-’90s, R.L. Stine is perhaps a more important figure than Hemingway or Kerouac or Didion or whoever else old people blab on about when discussing literary canons. With classic Goosebumps titles like Say Cheese And Die, One Day At Horrorland, The Girl Who Cried Monster, and about a hundred others, Stine was a staple of adolescent library visits. Also, he did this:

Well, former young people, turns out he’s always hated you. No, not really, just in a fun curmudgeonly old man way.

Over the weekend, the now 70-year-old took part in a Reddit AMA, where he introduced himself as “Hi! I’m R.L. Stine and my job is to terrify kids.”, immediately enamouring himself to tons of nerds with a similarly sardonic sense of humour. During the session, he answered questions about his favourite books, Goosebumps‘ progressive gender approach, and promoted his new adult novel, Red Rain, which nobody wants to read, sorry.

Mainly, though, he hilariously insulted his readers and children in general. Here are the highlights:

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1. He’s actually proud that he gave you nightmares  

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2. He would’ve bullied you in primary school

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3. He thinks you’re kinda dumb

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4. He lost his kid once 

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5. He became a literary legend because had nothing else to do 

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6. He likes “killing teenagers”

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7. He has some important advice 

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8. He’s very worried about you 

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And with that, every ’90s kid makes a date with their parents’ basement and a stack of dusty classics this Halloween. Email me if you’ve got The Scarecrow Walks At Midnight, I’m pretty sure I’m missing that one.