I Tested An Adult Scooter Because I’m A Giant Child With A Need For Speed(y Humiliation)

Certain images come to mind when I think of adult scooter riders. None are particularly flattering. For me, push scooters conjure images of people who were never cool enough to skateboard, and/or men in business suits hooning around, the wind whipping through their thinning hair as they block the entrance to the train station.

One guy, who works a few blocks down from me, routinely uses his Razor scooter as a kind of battering ram to force his way through Sydney’s busiest pedestrian crossing. Another seems determined to knock my coffee out of my hand on the walk to work. And yet, despite these reservations, I’ve spent the past few weeks riding an adult scooter. For science.

Its manufacturers describe the Globber ONE NL 205 as the “the perfect scooter for millennial parents seeking to share moments with their kids”. As a childless millennial seeking to avoid kids where possible, I am perhaps not this scooter’s target demographic, but let’s roll with it.

Testing the Globber is the first time I’ve ever tested (or ridden) a scooter as an adult, after a childhood featuring a little too much scooter riding. In primary school, my younger brothers and I scootered to and from school each day, riding in single file along the footpath while our mum jogged behind us with our backpacks in a trolley. This occurred beside a main road and may have been the impetus for some severe bullying in my childhood. But enough about my embarrassing past — let’s get back to my embarrassing present, and the Globber ONE NL 205.

The Globber is unfortunate in name, and also a little unfortunate in design. For one, it’s pretty heavy for a non-electric scooter, weighing in at 5.76 kilograms (compared to the original Razor scooter’s 2.72 kilos). The upside of that weight is that it’s tough, seems quite durable, and can support heavier riders than ye olde Razor (adults up to 100kg, whereas the classic Razor supports riders up to 65kg). The downside of the weight is that it is heavy.

“Pfft,” you may be thinking, but I’m here to tell you that 5.76 kilograms of scooter is a pain in the ass to carry in one hand along a crowded train platform, let alone onto a train.

And yes, I did bring the Globber on Sydney Trains, because I love to suffer (I also live a 40-minute train ride from my workplace — simply too far to scoot). The scooter is compact enough to fold up and stow between your legs while sitting on a bus or train, but only just. And forget about trying to nimbly exit a peak hour carriage without scootering someone in the face.

In other words, the Globber is a scooter for those who plan ahead. It’s a scooter for those who leave the house in time to snag a relatively empty train carriage. And it’s a scooter for those who know they want to brake at least 30 seconds in advance, seeing as that’s about how long the Globber takes to grind to a slow, underwhelming halt.

I discovered this feature of the scooter while rocketing home along a footpath that runs adjacent to a busy highway. Unlike the Razor scooters of yesteryear, the Globber’s slightly larger wheels and heavier frame mean that it can reach some pretty tremendous speeds, and isn’t particularly slowed by small bumps in the footpath. I wasn’t interested in encountering a larger series of potholes at high speed, so I jammed on the single aluminium brake over the rear wheel well in advance, only to find the scooter very slowly decrease in speed over 30-50 metres of footpath.

In short, this scooter does not stop abruptly at speed. Had a car pulled out in front of me on that downhill run, I probably would have had to jump off the Globber and hope for the best. Zoom at your own risk.

What Else Sucks?

Globber says its latest line of scooters is “heavily anticipated to play a dominant role to bringing adult scooting mainstream”. The company claims that one key feature — a “convenient patented folding mechanism” — sets its scooters apart.

“Unlike many adult scooters in the market which require you to bend down and fiddle about with a component, our ONE NL scooters deliver on practicality with the one-second folding system to easily fold the scooter, whether you are putting it in stationary mode while grabbing your Frappuccino in the city, or simply storing it at home after a ride around with the kids,” says Pascal Comte, Globber’s CEO.

Unfortunately, this folding mechanism is not quite as simple as it sounds. A poll of my colleagues revealed that none of us could easily work out how to fold the scooter on first, second, or even fourth tries, even with a helpful diagram in front of us. The scooter can be folded or unfolded by pulling a trigger on the pole, but it’s not obvious where you should be positioned as you pull it. Releasing the trigger too early means the scooter fails to lock in position, leaving it liable to fall open or collapse at any moment.

Once you get the hang of the mechanism, it does get much smoother, but it never entirely lives up to the one-second ease you might expect.

The other sticking point is the price: the Globber ONE NL 205 retails for a cool $240.00. That’s quite a lot compared to the classic Razor, but a relative steal when you look at the rest of the adult scooter market. I mean, some people are paying $500 for a scooter with a backpack attached. Scooters culture has escalated of late.

And The Good Bits?

For the most part, though, the Globber is a pretty decent scooter. Once you’ve mastered the folding mechanism and come to terms with lugging a weighty slab of metal upstairs and onto public transport, it delivers on most of the demands of the casual adult scooter rider.

The height and handlebars are easily adjustable, the platform is wide and comfortably padded, and the scooter is solid enough to handle small bumps without rattling constantly. The bottom of my scooter is pretty scraped up after a few weeks of misjudging kerb cuts, but the damage isn’t visible from most angles and hasn’t affected the function. The Globber seems pretty tough, and likely to scoot on for a while yet.

Where this scooter excels, however, is where it was never intended to be ridden: indoors, in our carpeted office, where my coworkers and I have been using it as a stress relief mechanism for the past week (Occupational Health & Safety department don’t read this). Nothing breaks up a long day at a desk like a quick hoon around on the Globber. It certainly moves faster than my desk chair.

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You can check out the Globber ONE NL 205 Adult Scooter here, and browse Globber’s other scooter offerings here.

Sam Langford is usually Junkee’s News & Politics writer, though they occasionally review scooters too. You can follow them on Twitter at @_slangers.