Who Will Finally Kill Cersei Lannister?
Everyone wants to kill the queen!
We only have two more episodes of Game of Thrones ever, and everyone is STRESSED OUT and EXCITED.
Honestly, I can’t even stand it.
Now that Doctor Frosty and his horde of gross dead friends have been handily dealt with (stabbed until he explodes!), there’s really only one big bad left: Queen Cersei Lannister.
She’s currently holed up in Kings Landing with a bunch of really shit B-list characters, chopping heads off and drinking wine and telling everybody that she’s constantly pregnant. Relatable!
Obviously there’s going to be a big showdown between the forces of Dany and Jon, and the Lannisters: but because Cersei is a bad bitch, it’s not particularly obvious who will be the first person to kill her. Everyone wants to kill her! She’s made a lot of enemies.
Heck, people on her own team would probably do it.
So, who is going to straight up have the honour of murdering Cersei Lannister? We’ve ranked them by probability.
Euron Greyjoy
Euron for a shock when Mr Squids turns on Cersei!
Even though the Liam Gallagher of Westeros is nominally an ally of Cersei, she is very much manipulating him: promising him her hand in marriage, a gross baby, and all the loveless pity-sex he could want. Spoiler though — she doesn’t plan on delivering on any of those if possible! She loves power! She loves manipulation!
It’s very likely that Euron will either try to double-cross her first, because he’s slimy, or that he’ll find out he’s being played and retaliate. It very much could revolve around the clearly fake bebe.
But, Cersei does NOT deserve to be killed by such a disgusting piece of shit, he could only dream!
Daenerys Targaryen
Cersei’s blood will be on Daenerys’ hands, no matter how it happens — it’s just unlikely that it will be literally.
Dany and Cersei rarely get in the scrum themselves, they usually just organise and inspire. If Dany DOES get in the mix, it’s usually on the back of a dragon. I just don’t think Cersei will end in a storm of dragonfire. Seems unlikely.
However, now that Cersei beheaded Dany’s best friend, maybe she’ll feel motivated to get more hands-on.
Jon Snow
There’s Snow way this is going to happen.
As fucked as it is, I can’t see him legitimately killing a woman in cold blood, even if it is someone as monstrous as Cersei.
However, after the war is won (assuming Cersei loses), I CAN see him executing her. It’s something that the Stark boys (and pals) were definitely taught is the right thing to do. Could be a nice little mirror to Ned Stark’s own beheadening.
Grey Worm
This would be a surprise!
He’s very newly motivated to kill Cersei after she chopped his girlfriend’s head off — one of the top 3 motivators for murder in my opinion! But, I’d say probably not, purely for narrative structure reasons.
Tyrion Lannister
Cersei has always been very scared of being killed by Tyrion.
She famously was given a prophecy when she was young, and if there’s one thing you should always do, it’s live your life in fear due to the hazy warning of circus folk.
The prophecy is that the “valonqar” will choke the life out of her, a word that means “little brother” in High Valyrian. Tyrion is clearly the littlest of the brothers, and also killed Cersei’s mother (and then later, father), so she naturally assumed it would be him.
It wouldn’t be out of the realm of possibility, tbh. Tyrion will have some sort of final moment of heroism — we just don’t know what it is yet.
Arya Stark
One of the last names on Arya Stark’s epic bucket list o’ murder is Cersei Lannister.
In the last episode, Arya and The Hound trotted off to settle some scores: he wants to kill his undead brother, Arya wants to finally get Cersei and avenge her dad.
It’s TOTALLY within her skill set to do this, it’s totally likely that she could, and it would be satisfying as all hell!
However, I do not think it’s going to happen! Arya already got the Night King, you think this show will give her Cersei too?
Jaime Lannister
My top pick! You know what they say, “there’s a fine line between boning your sister and hate”.
So, we already know that Jaime has left Winterfell and Brienne’s side to go to Kings Landing. It vaguely implied that he might be up to his old incestuous tricks and rejoining Cersei, but I think that’s unlikely. I think it’s more likely that he’s having an attack of the morals.
He’s one of the most misunderstood men in Westeros — the Kingslayer, reviled for killing the old Targaryen king who was going to blow up Kings Landing. It was actually a deeply ethical thing for him to do.
It’s very likely he finally sees Cersei as the same kind of ethical conundrum — that he has to solve. Stabbing time for the Lannister twins!
Plus — he too is technically the valonqar, as he was born slightly after Cersei!
Prophecies are a thing in Game of Thrones, so it’s really either Tyrion or Jaime.
Cersei Lannister
Or, nobody kills her and Cersei wins the game!
She stays on that throne looking fabulous, and a big fuck you to everyone else! Fuck you, Jon Snow! Fuck you, dragon! Fuck you, Stabby Girl! Fuck you, Hot Bone Brother!
Or maybe she finally collapses beneath the weight of all her terrible wigs! We just don’t know.
Patrick Lenton is the Entertainment Editor at Junkee. He tweets @patricklenton.