Game Of Origins, State Of Thrones

Once again, it’s that time of the year when people flood pubs, bring out their maroon and blue colours, and cheer themselves hoarse right across the eastern seaboard. It’s time for State of Origin, the annual grudge match that pits the best of NSW against the best of Queensland in a bloody battle on the Rugby League field.

But while footy fans flock to their local watering holes to hoot and holler at the resident flat screen TV, some of you aren’t so passionate. Some of you would rather be enjoying the $10 steaks than crowding around a flickering LCD. Or, better still, you’d rather be sitting under the covers and watching the latest episode of popular HBO television series, Game Of Thrones.

Well, my unsullied, I’m here to tell you that State of Origin and GoT aren’t so different! And what better way to prove it than to provide the definitive guide to the biggest names in State of Origin via their Game Of Thrones equivalents.

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Paul Gallen is The Hound, Sandor Clegane

Toughness, determination and faces that only their mothers could love. The toughest man in Westeros and the toughest man in Rugby League might as well be sipping from the same goblet of tough juice. That’s how tough they are.

While The Hound spends his time collecting heads in and around King’s Landing and the Blackwater, Gallen racks up tackles and metres with the best of them at ANZ and Suncorp. Gallen’s epic Game Two from 2011’s Origin series is seen by many as one of the grittiest games ever played in a blue jersey, as he took part in all 80 minutes, clocked up an epic 211 metres gained and saved a princess from being raped by a rabid mob also added 30 tackles.

The Hound is also no stranger to marquee performances, risking life and limb during the siege of King’s Landing and completing hard-arse feats against all comers during his journeys across the entire country.

We do not know if Paul Gallen is afraid of fire. I am not going to be the one to ask him. Here’s an epic 14-minute highlights package set to the theme from For A Few Dollars More.

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Kurt Gidley is Sansa Stark

Just like Kings Landing’s resident sourpuss Sansa Stark, Kurt Gidley’s years in the big-time have merely served as a brutal reminder that there is no God.

“Well,” you say, “at least his father wasn’t beheaded in front of him, his modesty violated on a weekly basis, and his life constantly threatened by a cruel king…” Interesting points, but Kurt Gidley has been a key part of six origin series losses, dating back to 2007, a fate that many NSW football players would consider worse than death.

Gidley’s origin career has been painfully cruel. One minute he’s betrothed to the future king captaining the NSW side, the next he’s marrying the dwarf uncle sent to the bench as a utility. And now, injury has resulted in him being banished from the NSW set up completely, in this, a year when NSW’s chance at redemption appears greater than ever.

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Darren Lockyer is Joffrey Baratheon

The Queensland hero may not be playing anymore, but indulge me.

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Greg Inglis is Jon Snow

While Jon Snow and Greg Inglis are both famous for their work in the north, the major similarity between these two is the speculation around the nature of their births. Like Ned’s bastard, Greg Inglis is of extremely controversial beginnings.

The nature and location of Jon Snow’s birth are part of Thrones lore (and reams of internet forums are dedicated to speculating the truth behind his parentage). Inglis, on the other hand, was simply born in Kempsey, which might not seem that controversial until you take a look at a map and realise it’s a city in northern NSW.

That’s right. Queensland’s biggest weapon is NSW born.

Inglis also played all of his junior football in NSW, a fact that would make him ineligible to play Origin for Queensland if he debuted by today’s rules, and a constant point of pain for NSW fans who have watched him score 14 tries in 18 origin matches for the Maroons.

So whether you choose to believe that Jon Snow is the son of a wet nurse and the former Hand of the King or not, believe this: Greg Inglis was certainly not born in Queensland, and he is (almost) certainly not the son of Rhaegar Targaryen.

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Mitchell Pearce is Robb Stark

We all love and miss the great Ned Stark — all earnestness and honesty, getting his head lopped off while advocating for the forces of good. We’re also familiar with his decidedly less impressive son Robb, whose blue-eyed intensity and preference for hanging out in dark tents make him a great deal less compelling than his swashbuckling father.

Enter Mitchell Pearce, son of origin great Wayne ‘Junior’ Pearce, who was one of the most beloved players to pull on the blue jersey thanks to captaining the 1986 side for the Blues’ first ever clean sweep of Queensland. Expectations have always dogged Mitchell and his output has been lukewarm to disappointing, never delivering a true marquee performance to match his father. This year, he has a chance at redemption, as he starts his tenth origin match at halfback and looks to live up to the family name.

Let us all hope that Mitchell keeps his head on the night.

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Game One of the 2013 Holden State Of Origin series airs live from ANZ Stadium at 7:30pm AEST tonight on Channel Nine. 

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