PSA: You Don’t Need To Feel Guilty For Being ‘Lucky’ During The Coronavirus Crisis

There’s no way to sugarcoat it: coronavirus is an emotional rollercoaster.

Regardless of how well-intentioned people are when they suggest Friday drinks via Zoom, a lagging internet connection isn’t enough to replace a face-to-face catch up at the pub (especially when you close the laptop, and you’re just drinking in your house alone).

Look, we know that in the grand scheme of things — in the midst of a global pandemic and an economic crisis — this isn’t the biggest problem the world is facing right now.

But you know what? It’s ok to acknowledge that, while still recognising that social isolation fucking sucks.

Mental health in the time of coronavirus is the topic of this week’s Frugal Forever podcast episode with hosts Katie Cunningham and Josie Parsons. They’re also joined by psychologist Mary Hoang, the founder of progressive psychology practice The Indigo Project.

Katie admitted she’s felt conflicted for feeling so shitty at the moment even though she’s fortunate enough to still have her health and her job — two things a lot of people don’t have right now.

“I feel like there is … just, this attitude of like ‘don’t complain,’ because we’re in this global pandemic and obviously people are dying and horrible things are happening and people are losing their jobs, and so it’s a bit like, ‘oh you feel sad? Doesn’t matter, suck it up,'” she said.

“I understand that my feelings aren’t the biggest problem in the world … but I feel like it’s dangerous, this narrative we’ve got about, ‘just stoically suck it up’.”

Love texting “I’m sad” because that makes it someone else’s problem

— Natalie Walker (@nwalks) April 16, 2020

Feeling Lucky In A Pandemic

Even before the COVID-19 crisis Mary regularly met with clients who felt they didn’t “deserve” to feel anxious or depressed because of their “lucky circumstances”.

“My position on that has always been that coronavirus, no coronavirus, we have to be real about the challenges that we have with our minds, our emotions and our relationships. This is across the board for everyone … we are never immune to feeling lost, uncertain, insecure, helpless,” she said.

“This is this incredible opportunity we all have to say, ‘hey, it’s completely ok for you to feel what you’re feeling’. That in turn gives us this opportunity to be more kind to ourselves. I think we need that, because we’re just so, so hard on ourselves.”

With little to no human interaction to distract us during this period of isolation and uncertainty, a lot of underlaying issues that might otherwise be repressed are coming to the surface.

That’s manifesting in a lot of different ways — a lack of motivation (completely normal), feeling triggered by small, random things (completely normal) or getting jealous seeing people isolating together while you live along (again, completely normal).

But Mary said this could also be an opportunity to try and have deeper conversations with friends and loved ones, to scratch below the surface-level, “how was your day” conversations we might normally have.

She’s a big fan of utilising the 36 Questions To Lead In Love as a jumping off point.

“I think they’re a really awesome guide to actually help people to travel into their deeper conversations that actually get to the core of who people are, I think we can actually discover a lot more about ourselves and our friends at this time,” she said.

Different Challenges For Different Folks

Overall, it’s important to remember whatever our isolation situation, we’re all facing different challenges.

“On the collective level we’re all experiencing a huge level of loss right now,” Mary said.

“We’re just feeling so many different feelings to guilt, denial, depression, there’s a big of hope, a little bit of acceptance, but then we kind of go back to feeling helpless and lost and frustrated.

“Don’t try to run away from the feelings, just really sit with them and look at what this is bringing up in terms of how you talk to yourself, how you relate to yourself, your insecurities and uncertainties, because I think we have a lot of learn about ourselves at the moment,” she said.

So basically, cut yourself some slack — you don’t need to feel guilty for struggling during the coronavirus crisis.

There’s plenty more insights on the latest Frugal Forever podcast episode that you can listen to here — or join the conversation on Facebook and Instagram.

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If you or someone you know needs support contact Beyond Blue on 1300 22 4636, or visit the government’s new coronavirus mental health portal at headtohealth.gov.au.