Meet The Artist Teaching Men That It’s Ok To Be Vulnerable
"Men definitely have a lot to learn from women, particularly when it comes to reaching out."
“I’m interested in the relationship between men and their sadness,” says Samuel Leighton-Dore.
Which might be pretty dang obvious –– his new exhibition, ‘Fragile Masculinity: Handle with Care’ features drawings, ceramics, and LED installations of men with tears streaming down their faces.
The young artist is tackling the concepts of toxic masculinity and mental health, exploring how society conditions men to prioritise physical strength and silently push down their emotions.
This is why he labels masculinity as ‘fragile’; something to be ‘handled with care’ –– because men’s difficulties with expressing emotions can lead to physical violence and destructive behaviour.
“We’re raised in a ‘man up’ culture that often contradicts the inevitable challenges — the sadness, hurt, uncertainty and anxiety — of being human. When these feelings aren’t acknowledged and expressed, they find other ways to the surface, often through anger, aggression or substance abuse.”
Leighton-Dore says acknowledging this is ‘key to raising happier, healthier men’, which should absolutely be a priority, not just for men themselves, but for all of us with men in our lives. Recent statistics from the Black Dog Institute say 75 percent of people who die by suicide were men. Our Watch also reports that 95 percent of all victims of violence in Australia — both men and women — reported that their perpetrator was a man.
These stats affects us all and the numbers are of epidemic proportions, and Leighton-Dore says that to do our part to lower these heartbreaking rates of violence, modern society must change expectations of how men express themselves.
Part of that is changing media representation of men, because male vulnerability is rarely seen on television, but men are constantly shown as angry, violent and volatile, often as a result of difficult life experiences and dealing with negative emotions in isolation.
“I can’t think of one instance growing up when I saw a male character openly cry on TV. Girls and women cried — but men? They just slammed their fists, punched walls and shook their heads. There was this overwhelming sense that real men don’t express sadness. We can’t be what we can’t see.”
The artist says his end goal in creating his art is to help be a part of a new narrative for male emotions, and help create a societal norm where men’s vulnerability is valued and encouraged, rather than shunned.
Raised by parents who taught him to express his sadness and assisted him with seeking help with his depression and anxiety, Leighton-Dore says he is extremely lucky. “I’m very fortunate to have a sensitive father who I saw crying multiple times growing up. He really taught me that it was okay to express myself, to be upset, to feel sad and to ask for help. It’s because of him that I’ve been able to embrace my sensitivity as I’ve gotten older.”
Leighton-Dore says men also have a lot to learn from women when it comes to expressing emotion.
“Men definitely have a lot to learn from women, particularly when it comes to reaching out. It’s impossible to discuss gendered behaviours without using some generalisations, but I’d say that women are, for the most part, far more comfortable opening up and sharing their feelings with one another — they more easily recognise the value in shared experience.”
He also says that strong feminist voices need to be heralded more than ever, in order to help break down patriarchal structures that keep men trapped within the confines of emotional prisons.
‘I worry’, 2019, glazed ceramic. pic.twitter.com/PzjBUuGl9e
— Samuel Leighton-Dore (@SamLeightonDore) February 20, 2019
“Clementine Ford is exactly the type of voice we need to be amplifying right now. The response to her work from some men is so telling of how messed up and defensive our culture is, how threatened men can be by not only strong women, but by concepts of change and accountability.”
The young artist’s mantra is that “embracing our vulnerability truly makes us strong”, and says his advice for any man struggling to express his emotions is to trust the people around him, and be brave enough to open up.
“We really need to pry ourselves open, which can feel counterintuitive. We need to grow more comfortable with the idea of asking for help – to establish new, healthier ways for men to interact and communicate.
“We need to find salvation in our friendships and develop deeper and more meaningful connections with our friends.”
Samuel Leighton-Dore’s exhibition, ‘Fragile Masculinity: Handle with Care’ opens on Wednesday 20th February at m2 gallery in Sydney. His book, ‘How to be a big strong man’ –– a collection of illustrated observations about masculinity for boys, men, and those who love them –– is due for release later this year.
Chloe Sargeant is a freelance writer and digital producer from Sydney. She tweets at @chlosarge, and you can find more of her work at chloesargeant.com.