Five Of The Worst Ever Sex Scenes, To Get You Ready For ’50 Shades Of Grey’
2015 is a way’s away. Here are a few ineffectual rollicks to tide you over.
White Men Can’t Jump (1992)
Last time I checked, I wasn’t a woman, but I can safely say that if a man serenaded me with an original song that contained the line “If you take me back again, I won’t be such a slob”, I’d at least need to hear a chorus before jumping his bones.
Rosie Perez’s character obviously isn’t much of a stickler for lyrics, as almost immediately after the line is uttered, she melts into the line “let’s screw”. Swish. Cue flapping, sun-rimmed curtains, conveniently placed bed-linen, and errant bottom lips, and you’ve got yourself two tight cheeks full of cringe.
–
Jeremy Cassar is a screenwriter from Sydney.