Five Of The Worst Ever Sex Scenes, To Get You Ready For ’50 Shades Of Grey’
2015 is a way’s away. Here are a few ineffectual rollicks to tide you over.
Titanic (1997)
Jack and Rose might have given us a love story-turned-disaster-film for the ages (ignoring the fact that there was plenty of room for the former to join the latter on that plank of floating ship shrapnel), but they also gave us a sugary carriage-set demonstration of coitus for the red-lidded bin.
Forget that Leo looks about 13 years old compared to the well-womanly Winslet; let’s get a little technical. The amount of condensation accumulated on the carriage windows suggests the premature invention of vehicular heating, or that both characters were suffering from a severe case of tuberculosis. And when Rose’s hand swipes against the wet window pane in a way not unlike the last shot of an ’80s horror film, one could not help but think that on that day, James Cameron confused his sweeping epic with a comedy.
