Five Best Bits From Matthew McConaughey’s Insane GQ Feature

To celebrate his recent induction into GQ‘s ‘Men Of The Year’ army (their weapons are slick watches and cologne samples), notoriously lackadaisical Hollywood superstar Matthew McConaughey granted the esteemed publication some time in his cloudy presence. While discussing the guy’s most recent work — obvious head-tilts to the Academy, where he reportedly “out-Gekkos Gordon Gekko (The Wolf Of Wall Street)” and “turns in one of the most transformative performances in memory (Dallas Buyers Club)” — interviewer Jessica Pressler managed to catch some COMPLETELY INSANE glimpses of the ol’  philosophising nature weirdo who’d rather be playing naked bongos than chasing Oscars. McConaughey, what a guy.

–

1. The bit about a street brawl in a “little village on the Niger River”

“So there I was in this little village on the Niger River,” begins McConaughey’s ridiculous story about being challenged to a gentlemanly street fight by some huge village crazy man in a “burlap sack”. Obviously, McConaughey took the challenge.

As he finishes telling it, McConaughey is crouched in a wrestling stance, breathing heavily. “I’m just breathing, covered in sweat, blood running down my chin, things coming out of my beard. The crowd is going crazy.” He asked a bystander: “Did I win?”

McConaughey lowers his voice back into his Tarzan accent. “It is not about whether you win or lose,” he says. “It is whether you accept the challenge.”

–

2. The bit where he reveals that he has a laptop full of raps

This revelation is like a recurring Christmas, ages 3 to 12. From now on, every time you picture Matthew McConaughey rapping, you’ll smile.

He is an avid collector of bits of wisdom. “I got 821 of them,” he says, nodding toward a slim laptop containing “aphorisms, bumper stickers, truths, and rhymes”… Lately he has been writing bits of rap songs. Rollin’ through yellow lights on my skateboard, he speak-sings. Kiss the fire and walk away whistlin’.

Curb grindin’ on broken concrete, breeze is slappy on my beard hairs. Now you try!

–

3. The bit where he’s basically a Beat poet

Pressler’s interview took place on the set of Christopher Nolan’s upcoming film Interstellar, where McConaughey’s trailer is apparently filled with kegs and a refrigerator stacked with cleansing juices (essential dietary staples). But there’s more:

On the door, someone has welded McConaughey’s best-known aphorism, “Just keep livin’.” The line belongs to Wooderson, the long-graduated Lothario he played in 1993’s Dazed and Confused, and it’s become a motto for McConaughey, inspiring the names of both his foundation (J.K. Livin) and his clothing line (JKL), whose tagline is yet another McConaugheyism: “Find your frequency.”

“That’s a goooood one,” he drawls. “You get that, don’t you? We all have a frequency, where things are clicking.” He closes his eyes, snapping his fingers like a Beat poet.

–

4. The bit where he reflects on his image

As you’re aware by now, McConaughey’s too busy fighting ethnic warriors and listening to free jazz to focus on boring shit like his ‘celebrity image’ or the fact that the four main Google suggestions following his name right now are “is a douchebag”, “is a terrible actor”, “is a Republican” and “is wasting away”. Still, he had a recent epiphany:

McConaughey says he had “no frequency of his conception” until recently. “Now I get it,” he says. “Outdoors, shirtless on the beach, does a lot of rom-coms, girlfriend loves him, good-looking. It’s like he rolls out of bed and shows up and makes it look easy.” A few years ago, McConaughey checked in with himself and decided it was time for a change…

He decided to “go in the shadows” for a while. “I got much more selfish,” he says. “I’m a fan of the word selfish. Self. Ish,” he repeats, drawing it out. “When I say I have gotten a lot more self-ish, I mean I am less concerned with what people think of me. I’m not worried about how I’m perceived. Selfish has always gotten a bad rap. You should do for you.”

–

5. The bit about naked bongos

“Of course I still play the congas naked,” he says. “I just close the windows.”

–

McConaughey, never change.