Female Academics Give Totally Perfect Amazon Reviews of This ‘PhD Darling Sexy Costume’
"This outfit needs to come with matching panties that say '$40K in debt'."
Thankfully Halloween is over for another year and we can actually put a rest to completely ridiculous things like this. But, if only as a cautionary tale for next year, this story’s worth visiting all the same. This year, like every one in human existence — or at least since Mean Girls — Amazon was packed with ‘sexy’ Halloween costumes. There was sexy Batgirl, sexy Red Riding Hood, sexy Arabian nights (already problematic in its own right) and SEXY EBOLA NURSE just to name a few. But one such costume got some special attention: the Delicious Women’s PhD Darling Sexy Costume.
A stunning display of not only unnecessary and ill-fitting adjectives but also totally unnecessary discriminatory bullshit, this costume has been absolutely torn to bits in the last few days. Female academics — with real-life PhDs no less — have jumped on the costume’s page to offer their reviews.
“Like all lady PhDs, I frequently ask myself: ‘How could I be sexier?’ Delicious costumes has come to my rescue! I can now lecture in my 5 inch gold spiked heels and “barely there” regalia while giving nary a thought to the male gaze and its implications on the prevalence of rape culture in our society.”
“The ‘Delicious Women’s PhD Darling Sexy Costume’ was not delicious at all. But I ate it anyway.”
“I really wanted to like this enough to order it. However, it’s not exactly accurate. It should come with a pack of stale cigarettes and some ramen noodles. The robe needs armpit stains and some random splashes of laser cartridge toner down the front. Overall, the ensemble doesn’t capture that unique combination of exhaustion, resignation, and despair achieved after the degree is conferred and the first loan bill has arrived four months after the wearer sent out 75 job applications to which she has not yet received any response aside from three affirmative action cards from the same HR department at Northeast Western Montana State College. I do commend the designer, however, for suggesting an alternative funding model for that grim day when the stipend runs out.”
“There is no way that the woman in the picture has earned a PhD. She’s smiling.”
“Sleeves are too short and have no stripes. Costume does not feature a hood. This is a ‘sexy BA’ at best.”
“If it doesn’t come in pink, I don’t want it.”
“When I left my nursing job for graduate school, I was so distressed. I mean what was I going to wear? There were plenty of sexy nurse costumes that I could wear to honour my accomplishments in that profession, but after I attained my PhD there was something missing. I was better educated, but not sexy. Until now. Thank you, Delicious Costumes, for filling the void. You’ve given women like me who have worked our asses off earning our degrees a way to show our asses off, too. Keep it classy, Amazon.”
“Wow, I think her tenure track is showing.”
“If you want to dress as a PhD student, save yourself $50 and just carry around a pile of books and a big ol’ bottle of wine.”
“This outfit needs to come with matching panties that say ‘$40K in debt.'”
Good work, team.