Everyone’s Making So Much Fun Of The New ’50 Shades Of Grey’ Movie Before It Premieres Tomorrow

The best thing about Fifty Shades of Grey is that when the book was first released, my morning commute could be spent playing a new form of Where’s Wally. Except instead of looking for a happy guy in a scarf, my target was anyone trying surreptitiously read poorly written erotica in a public space before 9am. Book held low, covers folded back and stolen glimpses at a smartphone were all telltale signs that someone’s sex was about to quiver.

There’s no escaping it. The film is set for release tomorrow and in true form the internet has a lot to say. From Ellen, to Lego, to Seth Meyers and a gaggle of New Yorkers, the build up to Fifty Shades has the insides of the internet “build[ing] up with potent, needy, liquid desire”.

While your inner goddess (or god) will have to wait one more sleep to pay $20 and sit awkwardly next to other patrons “just there to check it out,” your best mate Jimmy Fallon has stepped in and put an international spin on the film that has absolutely no chance of ever making the IMDB top 100. It’s great, and when Jamie Dornan reads a line with a Scottish accent makes he sounds like he’s confused about how to put together the parts of the Gernsk he purchased at Ikea.

Alternatively, if — like myself — you belong to the school of though that everything is better with a bit of Buscemi, you should absolutely give the next two minutes and eighteen seconds of your life to ‘Fifty Shades of Buscemi’.

You can bet your keester I’m going to get a piece of that pie.