Politics

Everyone’s Really Happy That Peter Dutton Fucked This Up So Badly

A self-own for the ages.

by Sam Langford  24 August 2018
Peter Dutton is still insulting Malcolm Turnbull, four months after losing his own leadership spill.

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Well, things have really backfired for Peter Dutton. After spending the week organising two dramatic leadership spills in an attempt to grab the Prime Ministership for himself, he just lost to last-minute contender Scott Morrison.

Yep, that’s right — Peter Dutton tore his own government to shreds, quit his extremely high-powered job as Home Affairs Minister, and has come out of it with absolutely nothing. As the man himself tweeted back in 2013:

Australians have spent the week making it pretty clear that they can’t stand Peter Dutton, mostly because of his years of commitment to an offshore detention policy that has seen children’s lives put at serious risk in conditions Amnesty International has compared to torture. Given that record, people are pretty fucking stoked he’s not going to be our Prime Minister.

Behold, a nation’s sigh of relief:

While people are thrilled to see Dutton eat shit, however, they’re also not all that stoked about our new Prime Minister, Scott Morrison, who is widely considered to be only a marginally less evil. After all, let’s not forget Morrison launched the “stop the boats” policy that kicked off Australia’s offshore detention crisis back in 2013. A 2014 Human Rights Commission Report found that Morrison had failed to act in the best interests of asylum seeker kids, instead noting that his actions led to children in detention developing serious mental and physical illness.

Also, Morrison is still a member of the Liberal Party, the bunch of idiots who’ve shut down the country for the past few days so they can bicker behind closed doors. People have had enough, and they’re venting their anger about that too:

To be honest, the nation seems so done with the Liberal Party at this point that I doubt we’ll see any genuine relief until the next federal election. I guess we can still enjoy telling Dutton to eat shit for another few hours though. What a self-own.