So it’s your final year, and there are only two things you can be sure of: a) that you definitely can’t spend a seventh year at uni and b) you don’t want the job your parent’s want you to have.

That leaves a lot of things to be unsure about – questions about gap years, employment, further study and relocation are guaranteed to keep you up at night. What makes it extra difficult is that you can’t really talk to your parents about it without them freaking out or cutting your plans short with a dose of Parental Expectation.

There’s a mature, rationed way of coping with their disappointment or, on the other hand, an impulsive, unproductive way that will only make things worse.

DON’T: Rely On Them To Support You

Studies prove that strained relationships arise when adult children demand high, unreciprocated levels of support. This is because children drain economic resources, require emotional support and, to parents, may represent a failure of their parental role in equipping you for a happy, stable future.

Disappointment is when progress towards a goal is below expectation. Parents might be disappointed you’re choosing a certain career path because its different to their expectations — but its more disappointing when you act like a brat who takes their parents for granted and fall below the expectation of how an adult should react.

DO: Have A Back Up Plan

It doesn’t take a scientist to know that the best way of getting your parents to take you seriously is by acting the adult you are. When their idea of a job sounds like absolute torture it’s hard not to get emotional, but it’s essential to keep a level head. Acknowledge their plans and explain your foolproof plan. Have a plan A, a plan B and a plan C. And a plan for how to afford rent, food, phone bills and everything else after that.

This shows you’re serious and realistic about what post-uni life requires. Being ignorant and wishful isn’t going to get you anywhere — not with your parents and not with any future employer.

DO: Speak To Them On A Level They’ll Understand

Often if your parents have a particular career path in mind for you, it’s because it was also theirs and they just want you to experience the same benefits. Parents often rely on similar employment to identify with their adult children. If you can’t identify through shared experiences, then put emphasis on expressing your concerns or goals so that they understand what you’re going through.

DON’T: Pack Up And Leave

Parents will inevitably worry about their children’s success. Parents see your success and emotional intelligence as a direct output of their investment in your education and upbringing. Research suggests that perceived lack of traditional “success” may instigate feelings of anger due to their financial resources being“squandered”.

Parents also worry about your ability to support relationships, families and eventually them as they age. Packing up your belongings and riding away into the sunset only adds short term stress to this long term stress. It also creates an even more hostile environment to try reconciling in the future (read: more stress).

Ultimately, the stable jobs our parents had are long gone for our generation. Experts predict that half the jobs young Australians are currently studying for are bound to be redundant in the global, automated workplace. Now more than ever we need to be prepared to pursue opportunities that are innovative and (usually) unknown, but not at the expense of our parents who only want to love and support us.

(Lead image: Stepbrothers/Columbia)