A Bunch Of Heroes Would Like You To Know That They Eat Pussy, Even Though DJ Khaled Doesn’t
Not all heroes wear capes.
The world is roasting a semi-famous man named DJ Khaled, due to the fact that he straight up admitted during an interview that while he expects the act of oral sex from his wife, he will never in fact reciprocate.
DJ Khaled will not eat pussy.
People are bamboozled by this weird and unsexy imbalance of sexual power, and specifically outraged by the way he expressed those sentiments, saying:
“It’s different rules for men,” he said. “We the king, so there’s some things y’all might not wanna do, [but] it gotta get done. I just can’t do what you want me to do. I just can’t.”
Cool, sure, whatever. But in exciting news, this has given men a wonderful opportunity to gleefully put their hands up and announce that unlike the bad DJ, they will actually eat pussy. Let’s get a round of applause for these unsung heroes, please.
dj khaled doesnt eat pussy? thats ridiculous man. i do that all time. i actually like doing it. just so you know.
wendy's cashier: sir i will call the police
— blvck mass (@blvckmass) May 4, 2018
In feminism, there’s often a question of what men should be doing to help further the cause — should they sit down and shut up, or should they help out by making it all about themselves???
What DJ Khaled has shown us, is that what men should actually be doing is using one man’s weird, bad behaviour as a way to profit and find more sex, and to make their own, completely unremarkable behaviour (such as giving a woman head) seem like an outrageous act of altruism.
So without further ado, here’s a bunch of HEROES who are BRAVE enough to have sex with a woman, AND ARE AVAILABLE FOR THAT SEX probably.
Someone break out the merit awards.
texting every girl in my phone "did you hear dj khaled doesnt eat pussy? what an idiot. by the way, im not like him. i definitely eat pussy. just so you know. i actually think it's fun. soooooo yeah"
— eric turtle (@dubstep4dads) May 4, 2018
after all this DJ Khaled stuff i feel like awareness of man who don’t eat pussy’s been raised. i’d just like to take this time to say if your man doesn’t eat pussy my dm’s are open x
— will (@willxdeans_) May 6, 2018
Dj Khaled dont eat pussy his ass tweaking I eat the hell out some pussy ?
— CarterTooSmooth (@CarterTooSmooth) May 5, 2018
DJ Khaled won’t eat pussy because he provides Smh.. baby I’ll drown in that pussy & put food on the table ?
— Big K (@karan1891) May 4, 2018
dj khaled is trending because he doesn’t eat pussy… i really can’t relate at all
— dumbass faisal type beat (@faisalvrt) May 4, 2018
A bunch of guys are using this "DJ Khaled doesn't eat pussy" thing to say "you better believe I eat pussy" but if he had said "I don't pray" how many of you all would be saying "you better believe i pray" ???
— andy s (@CIAGoFundMe) May 5, 2018
Hey @djkhaled I love to eat pussy you should try it #yougay
— Scott Perkins (@scp6887) May 5, 2018
The difference between a boy and a man is that boys like blowjobs but a man will return the favor
— Samu Ahlgren (@SamuAhlgren) May 4, 2018
Meanwhile, the lesbians are watching this whole thing unfold and feeling validated in their choices.
@ DJ Khaled’s wife. If there’s not a man that will treat you right, there’s always a lesbian that will.
— dani (@danielius_ab) May 5, 2018