A Look Back At The Unhinged Chaos That Was ‘The Disney Channel Games’

Thanks to Disney+ and, you know, COVID-19, I have spent an unhealthy amount of time reliving my childhood through the lens of the Disney Channel recently. In particular, I have fallen down the rabbit hole of one of the most bizarre TV events to occur: The Disney Channel Games. 

There was simply no greater pleasure as a young child than spending your summer in front of the TV, air conditioner on -30 degrees, watching your favourite stars battle it out in the Games. My sister and I would choose our teams and would assume our positions as arch-nemeses until a winner was crowned — some may say I was too intense, but to me…this was my Olympics.

For those unfamiliar, The Disney Channel Games brought together the most iconic Disney Channel stars from across the globe to compete in obstacle courses, races and other team-building competitions in search of the ultimate Disney Channel team. Sure, the Olympics is great, but did it have Ashley Tisdale and Zac Efron battling it out? I do not think so.

The five-part annual series ran for three years between 2006 and 2008, with each episode culminating in a performance by one of the network’s biggest stars (The Jonas Brothers, Miley Cyrus and The Cheetah Girls, to name but a few).

Unfortunately, only the final season — which aired in 2008 — is available on Disney+ right now, which is arguably the most interesting season of all. This is the season that aired in the wake of Miley Cyrus’ infamous Vanity Fair photoshoot, which was not-at-all scandalous by today’s standards and ended up being probably the least provocative thing she’s ever done, but was huge news at the time.

I recently sat down to re-watch the 2008 games, which featured the likes of The Cheetah Girls, The Jonas Brothers, and Demi Lovato, and was pleasantly surprised to find that The Disney Channel Games are still as unhinged and cursed as they were 13 years ago. The concept of them seems so outlandish now — imagine if Olivia Rodrigo and Joshua Bassett were put into an arena and forced to compete in high jump for our entertainment?

Clearly, it’s time to bring them back. But I’m not asking Disney to revive the show with the stars of today, although I think Rodrigo would kill it. No. I want Disney to bring back the stars of the 2008 games, specifically, for a rematch. To be more specific, I think my life would be exponentially more exciting if I got to see Joe Jonas wearing a sweatband and a thick layer of zinc again.

Sure, they’re all doing other things now. Brenda Song just had a kid with Macaulay Culkin, and Adrienne Bailon has since gone on to great things like dating Rob Kardashian, but I’m sure Disney has enough money to bring them all back together.

Or, at least, give us a Survivor-esque fans vs faves moment where I can watch Selena Gomez and Olivia Rodrigo compete in tug-of-war.