Concert Proposals Are Officially Giving Me The Ick
Concert culture is officially giving me the ick.
I am SICK to my tum.
A once sacred place has now become a zoo of second-hand embarrassment, gross behaviour and violently cringe moments that I can not escape. The solitude and camaraderie of concert culture is dying. And I solely blame three types of people: bullies-turned-nurses, only children, and people in love.
Not all nurses were high school bullies but all high school bullies became nurses, and that’s just fact. It’s becoming increasingly hard to ignore the onslaught of nurses at shows who are holding up the biggest fucking sign possible, covered in glue and glitter. And they’re often soliciting for whoever is on stage to spit on them or do a shoey. Like, in your own time babe, I paid to see a show and remain kinda dry while doing so. I have no interest in a public spitting splash zone. Will you at least bust out your medical skills after the house lights go up and tend to my inevitable pink eye?
people think bringing a sign like this to a harry styles concert is okay because he’s a man. imagine if a man brought this to an ariana grande concert or something. y’all would be PISSED pic.twitter.com/1GxjH3k6UC
— kris (@rckstarlouis) November 9, 2021
So, we all know that throwing toys out of the pram is classic only child behaviour. And I’d put money on the theory that it’s the same people throwing their iPhones at people on stage who are just trying to do their job. And not get a concussion. The siblingless are no doubt the ones chucking elbows in the pit to get a smashed-up drumstick or ripped and taped setlist. Or worse, they’re wearing their hair in the biggest, swishiest ponytail in all the land. Don’t get me wrong — i’m obsessed with your lack of self-awareness, it is truly a marvel.
And finally, the lovers. The most heinous concert-goers who are ruining absolutely everything for everyone. You’re in love, we get it. It was bad enough when you were swaying together with your hands in her back pockets and macking on with a lot of saliva. But now you want me to bear witness to your engagement? Come on, pal. The trend of proposing at a concert is one of the biggest public icks I’ve ever encountered.
The proposal scene in Miss Americana makes me cringe and my whole heart sink into my stomach.
— a p r i l ✨ (@aprilrosiekay) December 17, 2022
It’s seriously so cringe watching you get down on one knee in a sea of people who are doing their best to ignore you. Then you try and match your proposal to the lyrics, so you can time the ‘yes’ to the big swell that comes afterwards. I’m gonna yack, hand me a bucket.
To double down, it’s somehow even worse when the artist on stage hands the civilian a microphone and their proposal echoes through the whole venue. Then they leave the poor person on the receiving end pressured to say ‘yes’ after they’ve done literally the most embarrassing thing possible. Help! I’m sick! Say no!
Written by Talecia Vescio, your local Aquarius Junkee Producer & Presenter. Find her on Instagram as @taleciavescio if you want to be friends.