A Complete List Of Emotions Felt While Watching The Terrifying Trailer For ‘Alien: Covenant’
In space no one can hear you shit your pants in terror.
Over Christmas Fox dropped the first trailer for the new film in the Alien franchise, and if you’re at all prone to nightmares where horrifying extraterrestrial monsters gestate inside you before bursting forth and wreaking havoc in the deep, dark reaches of space…then you should probably watch something else.
Directed by Ridley Scott, Alien: Covenant will function as both a sequel to Prometheus and a prequel to Alien. From the looks of things, Scott is really honing in on the haunted house vibe of the original movie, which is perfectly fine by us.
Take a gander at the trailer below, along with a complete list of emotions I felt while watching it.
Time: 0:00 / Emotion: skepticism
Do we really need another Alien movie. The first two are genre masterpieces, but everything since has been piping hot garbage water. Remember Alien vs. Predator? Remember the sequel to Alien vs. Predator?
Time: 0:01-0:30 / Emotion: fear
Starts promisingly. Straight off the bat, things are not looking great for this rag-tag group of space explorers. We’ve got a crew-member trapped in a room with a soon-to-be-spawned baby xenomorph, and frankly I do not like her odds.
Time: 0:31-1:05 / Emotion: mildly creeped out
Michael Fassbender’s performance as a duplicitous android was hands down the best thing about Prometheus, so it’s great to see him back on board. Also, I am loving Danny McBride’s cowboy hat. I predict he will be the first one to die.
Time: 1:06-1:28 / Emotion: uh oh…
Actually, I take it back. That guy who gets the alien parasite in his ear? He’s going to be the first one to die. Space captain Billy Crudup also appears to be in for a hard time.
Time: 1:29-1:43 / Emotion: OH SHIT OH SHIT!
Never go to space. You’re just asking for trouble.
Time: 1:44-1:54 / Emotion: pure terror tinged with arousal
As frightened as I am by the alien with the meat hook tail and acid for blood, I’m probably more frightened by the idea of shower sex. I just straight up do not have the upper body strength to pull it off.
Time: 1:55-2:13 / Emotion: resignation
I have been burnt by this franchise so many times. And yet I still really want to see this.
Alien: Covenant hits cinemas on May 18 2017.