Music

Finding Out Your ‘Coachella Age’ Is A Brutal Way To Realise You’re Incredibly Out Of Touch

How Coachella old are you?

by Joseph Earp  8 January 2020
Coachella age meme

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Coachella is one of the most relentlessly ‘cool’ festivals on the planet, with a line-up designed to make every single person on Earth feel slightly less in the know than they thought they were.

However much of a music nerd that you think you are, there’s bound to be someone on the poster that you’ll have to fake an enthusiasm for in an awkward conversation with other people who are also faking.

Sure, you might be totally up to speed with your Bolivian vaporwave, but how well do you know the back catalogue of composer Danny Elfman? Or the synthy sounds of Ela Minus? Or the electronica of Detlef?

See, I could have made up at least two of those names, and you’d never be able to tell, because you are not as cool as you thought you were and neither am I.

Anyway, to celebrate the deeply obscure collection of names collected on the Coachella 2020 line-up, Twitter has devised a new and deeply frustrating meme. Here’s how it works: your Coachella age is 100 minus the number of acts on the line-up that you’ve heard of.

Yep. Terrifying already, huh?

I’m 35, which is respectable, I suppose, if you ignore the fact that I’m literally a music critic and it’s my job to know these things. But hey, seems like everyone is reasonably disappointed by this evil meme.

See: Coachella always wins out, no matter how much of a hipster you thought you might be.