TV

It’s Time I Remind You That Detective Stabler From ‘Law And Order: SVU’ Has A Fat, Juicy Ass

*stares in especially heinous*

by Michelle Rennex  14 April 2021
svu christopher meloni stabler ass

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Among the trash fire that has been the last year, we were given one good piece of news: Detective Stabler would be rejoining his work wife Captain Benson on Law and Order: SVU in 2021.

After a painful 10 years, Christopher Meloni decided to finally return to his beloved role of Elliot Stabler on the only copaganda show we allow (besides Brooklyn Nine-Nine, of course).

While Stabler’s return to SVU is only short-lived as it’s just a two-episode crossover event for new spin-off, Law and Order: Organized Crime, Meloni’s reprisal of his role really means one thing: The return of Detective Stabler’s fat, juicy, donkey ASS.

*mild spoiler alert*

Yep. Two weeks ago, Detective Stabler randomly reunited with Olivia Benson on Law and Order: SVU after a car bomb that was targeting police vehicles killed his wife, Kathy.

Despite his off-screen journey plopping him in Rome to deal with terrorism, organised crime and sex trafficking, Stabler had returned to New York to testify against suspects he apprehended in Puglia. But after Kathy’s untimely death, Stabler decided to settle back in the US, join a task force to find the killers, and continue his war on organised crime on home soil.

Really, that was just a lot of words to say that Stabler’s big booty is home — as you can see below.

During the filming of an Organized Crime episode in Brooklyn last week, someone in the neighbourhood of Park Slope decided to snap a pic after spotting Christopher Meloni’s unbelievably round cheeks on the street.

And while the world is pretty much used to Meloni’s (very) large ass, there was something about this pap-style photo that seemed too voluptuous to be real. Too thicc to be human. Large and in charge, if you will.

This, of course, is not the first time Christopher Meloni’s big booty has gone viral.

In 2019, BuzzFeed literally had the actor read out a bunch of thirst tweets about his fat ass because the world was truly fascinated over how one man could possess so much cake. I mean, Mel Magazine even dubbed Meloni’s butt to be the “most influential ass in Hollywood” last year, while Conan called his cheeks the “best butt in primetime” back in 2014.

Basically, our boy has a great ass.

But because he has such a great backside, and considering the alarming number of times Christopher Meloni’s booty has gone viral, our favourite uncontrollable TV cop felt he had to finally address the elephant (his ass) in the room.

When someone asked the actor whether he wanted to explain why he has “so much cake????”, Meloni responded with a short, but sweet response.

“Big birthday (60), big boy (200lbs), big cake,” he tweeted.

And sadly, Christopher Meloni also took the chance to share that the recent viral photo of his Law and Order cakes wasn’t exactly 100 percent homemade, admitting that a “wallet and phone buried in the filling” helped it along.

Regardless, we have no choice but to stan Christopher Meloni, our 60-year-old, big cake-having big boy — just like Cher has done.