‘Channing Tatum’ Is Now A Creepy Verb
Well, technically, 'Channing' is the verb, and 'Tatum' is the noun, but let's not be nerds about this, okay?
Like the whole Bill Pullman/Bill Paxton conundrum, Channing Tatum — the former real-life stripper and now Hollywood superstar — has always posed problems with his dumb name. Like, just say you’re at the local video shop, trying to rent the Amanda Bynes masterpiece She’s The Man, but you’ve forgotten its title and general plot synopsis, and the only thing you can remember is that it starred that beefy guy from Step Up, so you frantically yell at the video shop clerk, “It’s this movie with Amanda Bynes and Tanning Chatum!” and the jerkhole kid behind the counter has no idea what you’re talking about so you just end up with a copy of What A Girl Wants again? Man, I hate when that happens.
Well, you probably won’t be forgetting his name anymore, or, awkwardly, you’ll be thinking of him during sex times, because the following ridiculous music video premiered on Jimmy Kimmel overnight. Featuring goofy cameos from Jamie Foxx, Olivia Munn, Gabourey Sidibe, Miley Cyrus, Matt Damon, and a whole lot of sexual innuendo, the video — titled ‘(I Wanna) Channing All Over Your Tatum’ — is Kimmel’s latest attempt at blowing up the internet with some ‘I’m F**king Matt Damon‘ type shenanigans, except this time it’s all about Channing Tatum, and, well, jizz.
That’s disgusting. Stay tuned for similar videos featuring Mooney Rara, Phoaquin Jeonix, Rip Torn, and, I don’t know, I’m too tired to come up with any more.