Cards Against Humanity Sold 30,000 Boxes Of Poo To Screw With People On Black Friday
More like BROWN Friday, am I right?
The US equivalent of our Boxing Day sales, Black Friday is basically a modern incarnation of hell. People camp outside department stores to be first in line for sales, they then proceed to trample one another, yell, brawl over shitty TVs and generally sacrifice small parts of their humanity for the sake of some stocking stuffers their extended family definitely don’t want anyway. Here! Gawker made you a compilation of this year’s best fights so you can watch our civilisation crumble at your leisure.
But this year, not all retail outlets were frothing over the opportunity to turn their customers into packs of growling, cash-spewing sub-humans. Noted weirdos and professional shit stirrers Cards Against Humanity in fact refused to sell any of their usual products. Instead, they had something special planned.
“To help you experience the ultimate savings on Cards Against Humanity this Black Friday, we’ve removed the game from our store, making it impossible to purchase,” a post on their Facebook post read. “Instead we’re offering a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity to buy some new bullshit.”
But, unlike the general bullshit sold at Wal-Mart or Best Buy or any of the other US chain stores that briefly became makeshift cage-fighting arenas over the weekend, the stuff CAH were peddling was way more honest. It really was shit. Bull shit. Like, poo. From a male cow.
Though there are definitely easier ways to obtain poo than buying it online for $6 in a box with an emoji on it, people jumped at the opportunity. Within the day, they completely sold out — that’s 30,000 people who are now willingly about to receive some poo on their front doorstep.
And, though they really couldn’t have been more straight-forward about it, some customers were still confused. To combat people’s inevitable questions, a series of special FAQs were uploaded to the website during the day.
When that failed to put people off, the CAH team took to Twitter to clarify.
people emailing us to ask "what is this? is it really poop? i just bought it, hope it's not poop"
— Jenn (@jenndangerous) November 28, 2014
it's poop
— Jenn (@jenndangerous) November 28, 2014
nope pic.twitter.com/u6o67beZjP
— Max Temkin (@MaxTemkin) November 28, 2014
If you buy the poop expecting it to be something else that’s not poop, you’re actually buying a valuable life lesson for $6.
— Max Temkin (@MaxTemkin) November 28, 2014
This isn’t the first time CAH have purposefully disappointed their fans either. Last year they ran a special surprise promotion where people were sent ’12 Days of Holiday Bullshit’. 100,000 people signed up and were gifted with a whole bunch of things including but not limited to little lumps of coal. This year, they’re at it again hosting a ’10 Days of Kwanza Or Whatever Sale’ where everyone will get a swag of mystery junk for $15.
In conclusion, people are weird.
When bullshit ships next week: http://t.co/vRjLxTq2mH
— Max Temkin (@MaxTemkin) November 29, 2014
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h/t Business Insider.