Culture

There Was An Explosion At A Bull Semen Factory And Now Everyone’s Making Jokes About It

Imagine being the guy who had to clean it up.

by Joseph Earp  19 September 2019
Bull memes

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Life is frequently hard. And yet it’s hard in predictable, boring ways: pain is universal, and there’s something about the modern condition that breeds a singularly humdrum sense of gnawing existential dread, as mundane as it is soul-scrambling.

But every once in a while, a horror comes along that is singular and unique in its awfulness; a special kind of pain that stands all on its own. You don’t need to take my word for it, however. Just ask the man who was awoken one day by the news that he would have to clean up the mess of an exploding bull semen factory.

Yep, this is one of those news pieces: a story that can be expressed in a single sentence so baffling that it somehow requires no further explanation and also a huge amount of further explanation.

Here’s the story. At 3AM on a Tuesday morning, firefighters were called to the site of a genetics lab. Said genetics lab was filled with vials of bull semen. When a fire broke out, said vials of bull semen exploded, which I suppose is something I have now learned happens to bull semen when it gets extremely hot.

Firefighters contained the fire quickly, which is good, because the only thing worse than cleaning up an explosion at a bull semen factory is cleaning up an explosion at a bull semen factory that is still on fire.

Anyway, because jokes about exploding bull semen factories are extremely funny and extremely easy to make — you need only say the words ‘exploding bull semen factory’ to prompt, at the least, polite titters; do try it with your friends and family — the internet is aflame with reactions and memes.

Of course, the one person this is presumably not very funny to is the man who had to clean up said explosion at the bull semen factory. Wherever he is, I hope he’s doing well. I really, really mean that.

Lead image credit: Wikimedia Commons