Culture

Move Over 10-Inch-Dick Teen, This Broken-Necked Queer Girl Is Our New Hero

Her girlfriend sat on her face too hard.

by Patrick Lenton  30 July 2018
broken necked girl

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Update: Turns out that this story isn’t QUITE entirely true, and is more of a joke that got out of hand. Still — it’s pretty cute.

“In summary it was just a joke we milked for fun and it blew up unexpectedly,” says Tiff to Junkee. “I’ve been exposed.”

The joke was that her girlfriend sat on her face so hard that it broke her neck, but that was something of an exaggeration.

“While I didn’t actually break my neck, but I did sprain it or pull something. So, I did acquire an injury but no bones were broken,” she clarifies.  “My friend had a neck-brace laying around so I asked if I could use it for a picture… I put it on and sent it to my girlfriend to make her feel better about hurting my neck and posted it here as a joke to my friends. Then it blew up and I was honestly astonished.”

So, you know, that’s pretty fair. We also asked how the joke has been received, and she told us that “my family has seen it and since a lot of them are conservative and it hasn’t gone well hahaha.”

Earlier:

Hold on to your delicate neck bones, because 2018 has just found its new hero — the girl who broke her neck during enthusiastic sex with her girlfriend. Hooray for this broken-necked girl, she is the queer hero we’ve all been screaming for.

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The Dude Who Got Sent To Hospital After Sucking A Giant Dick Is The Hero 2018 Needs

Tina Turner once sang the following moving lyrics:

‘We don’t need another hero/We don’t need to know the way home/All we want is life beyond the Thunderdome.’

She was wrong though — we do need another hero, because modern life, with its hustle and bustle, can be hard.

Frankly, 2018 is SCREAMING for role models. All our favourite celebrities get milkshake ducked eventually, all of our rock icons are dying, we’re not allowed to drink the red liquid inside the spooky sarcophagus.

Luckily we have Twitter user tiff, who took to social media to let the world know that during what we can only assume was some passionate and fulfilling sex, her girlfriend sat on her face so hard that she broke her neck. She also asked for “prayers for my speedy recovery”, which we’d like to add to, so that she can get back on the horse ASAP.

There’s something so inspirational about this story — it’s about a young woman who knew what she wanted and wasn’t afraid to reach for the stars. It’s about a person so passionate and committed to getting some excellent v that she snapped her delicate column of spinal fluid.

And if you look at her face, that’s the smile of someone who stands by their decisions, who knows they made the right choice, despite the consequences.

She joins a new constellation of role models, including the iconic hero who managed to rupture his airway while sucking a massive dong.

Thank god the children have got such positive and aspirational figures to model themselves on. We’re all going to be alright.