Twitter Had A Meltdown Over What ‘Red Flags’ To Look Out For On a Man’s Bookshelf
"Hitting my head with a hammer so I can become illiterate for all the beautiful, amazing Queen's out there"
A single Tweet about the “warning signs” on a man’s bookshelf effectively ruined Twitter for a whole day.
US journalist Jess McHugh started a furor on Tuesday when she tweeted out the “top 7 warning signs” on a man’s bookshelf, listing off a few classics for any intellectual bro — Hemingway, Infinite Jest, Bukowski and libertarian Ayn Rand.
Top 7 Warning Signs In a Man's Bookshelf:
1. A Dog-eared copy of Infinite Jest
2. Too Much Hemingway
3. Any amount of Bukowski
4. AYN. RAND.
5. Goethe
6. "Lolita is my favorite book."
7. "'Fathers and Sons' Is my favorite book."— Jess McHugh (@MchughJess) August 24, 2020
The other references felt awfully specific — who reads Goethe or says that Lolita or Fathers & Sons, a staple of 19th century Russian literature, is their favourite book?
lol has anyone ever spoken the words “Lolita is my favorite book” and, if so, someone should do an NYT profile on them
— Shadi Hamid (@shadihamid) August 24, 2020
Hope your ex who you’re mad at sees this
— Gmork Servant of The Nothing (@GmorkOfNothing) August 24, 2020
The tweet caught on, and responses were pretty split between sharp agreeance and mocking, as well as a series of men who then shared their bookshelves or went through the list — truly the biggest red-flag of them all.
For some, the post itself was deeply triggering, bringing back memories of boyfriends past.
“Wish I’d known about the too much Hemingway with my college boyfriend,” replied Giulia Pines. “He actually READ ME PASSAGES in this swoony voice he always used, like this was the most profound insight into humanity I’d ever get.”
Many suggested their own personal red-flags. There was the category of ‘books they should have outgrown by adulthood’, such as On The Road, Catcher In The Rye and Into The Wild or people who are “really into” Vonnegut. Then there were suggestions of a ‘good bookshelf’, which is just a really embarrassing idea to put out into the world.
Top 7 good signs in a man’s bookshelf:
1. Too much Wodehouse
2. Too much Carl Sagan
3. Hitchhiker’s guide to galaxy
4. Heart of Darkness
5. Richard Feynman
6. Dune
7. Homer— SaganMan (@thesaganman) August 24, 2020
Meanwhile, others counter-argued that having an obsession with Young Adult fiction as an adult is far worse than being an insufferable lite-intellectual.
You're so wrong that I don't know where to start.
— Writergrrrl29 (@writergrrrl29) August 24, 2020
Most people were just pretty frustrated with the earnest traction the tweet got in the first place, given that owning or reading a book doesn’t mean you politically align with its message or author, and we also had this conversation 20,000 times on Tumblr back in 2011.
— ???? ????? (@Bill_Kezos) August 24, 2020
Reading is sus. Female trait
— PUA Lipa (@ThisGuyGetsLit) August 24, 2020
Hitting my head with a hammer so I can become illiterate for all the beautiful, amazing Queen’s?out there
— Jokerfied CJ (@pandafresh) August 24, 2020
Overall, it was a terrible time on Twitter.com filled with terrible opinions, salvage by the meta-joke responses which laughed at how laughing at someone’s bookshelf is much more of a red flag than having read Infinite Jest. Enjoy those below.
Top 7 Warning Signs in a Man’s Bookshelf:
1. Park that car
2. Drop that phone
3. Sleep on the floor
4. Dream about me
5. Park that car
6. Drop that phone
7. Sleep on the floor— Larry Fitzmaurice (@lfitzmaurice) August 24, 2020
7 red flags on a mans bookshelf:
1) okay kinda sus that there’s no books
2) wait it’s really all funko pops?
3) and you have how many shelves like this?
4)oh god it’s all funko pops
5) I have to go
6) this is too many funko pops
7) Infinite Jest— 121 (@anindividuation) August 24, 2020
LADIES, if you go home with him and his bookshelf looks like this, that’s a RED FLAG ???? pic.twitter.com/hPjDUmTflx
— juliet (@wliltoldeo) August 24, 2020
warning signs on a man’s bookshelf: pic.twitter.com/swA3JfevgB
— Dave Itzkoff (@ditzkoff) August 24, 2020
Top 7 Warning Signs In a Man's Bookshelf:
1. A Dog-eared copy of Infinite Jest
2. You pull on it
3. The bookshelf spins around
4. AYN. RAND.
5. This is where they’ve been keeping her
6. She’s hooked up to some kind of machine
7. She asks what the current interest rates are.— Jesse Brenneman (@Jesse_Brenneman) August 24, 2020
Top seven warning signs on a man’s bookshelf: pic.twitter.com/hUOm0hqMM2
— Amos Pearson’s Moose Farm (@Frustrated_Fan) August 24, 2020
I will only date a man whose bookshelf looks like this pic.twitter.com/s46KZ8PdgB
— jacob wohl tulpa bf ?️⃤ (@borrachacansada) August 25, 2020
Real Red Flags On A Dude's Bookshelf
1. Freakonomics
2. Guns Germs & Steel
3. The Blank Slate
4. ANY Malcolm Gladwell
5. The Bell Curve
6. The Screwtape Letters
7. The God Delusion— Hieronymus Burps ?? and 68 others (@hieronymus_burp) August 24, 2020
Real Red Flags On A Dude's Bookshelf
1. Freakonomics
2. Guns Germs & Steel
3. The Blank Slate
4. ANY Malcolm Gladwell
5. The Bell Curve
6. The Screwtape Letters
7. The God Delusion— Hieronymus Burps ?? and 68 others (@hieronymus_burp) August 24, 2020
I can't believe today's discourse has ignored the fact that the #1 red flag on a bookshelf is when you pull on one of the books out, and the whole shelf slides to the side, revealing a secret dungeon.
— Josh Gondelman (@joshgondelman) August 24, 2020
TOP 4 WARNING SIGNS ABT A MAN'S BOOKS!!
1. They love infinite jest. in fact, they own a copy
2. a copy of lolita with "NOTE TO SELF: DO THIS" written on the inside cover
3. owns a bookshelf instead of just keeping their books in a pile on the floor
4. Second copy of infinite jest— g0m (@g0m) August 24, 2020
I think the worst thing a guy can have on his bookshelf is the novel coronavirus
— tedium and woe jerk (@rajandelman) August 24, 2020
Warning Signs In a Man's Bookshelf:
1. dog eared copy of Goodnight Moon
2. Green Eggs and Ham “made me a less picky eater”
3. ANYTHING BY RICHARD SCARRY
4. C*pt*in *nderp*nts
5. “Where The Wild Things Are made me reimagine bed time”
6. Cat In The Hat— wearing DC shoes to son’s funeral (@ByYourLogic) August 24, 2020
Hey lookit that they put the red flag right there on the spine for you!
— Audrey M. (@audreyloopy) August 24, 2020