The Best ‘Brooklyn Nine-Nine’ Cold Opens, Ranked
The full bullpen!
There are few TV shows as well renowned for their cold opens as Brooklyn Nine-Nine.
In seven seasons, we’ve been treated to countless incredible opening scenes with the entire cast getting the opportunity to shine. Whether it’s a hilarious prank, or a more tender moment that showcases a character’s quirks, each delightful open guarantees a laugh before the opening credits start to roll.
Narrowing down the best 10 opens from 143 episodes was no easy feat, but the scenes below truly are the cream of the crop. In celebration of the show’s eighth and final season — which is currently underway — take a moment to relive the best cold opens from Brooklyn Nine-Nine.
Honourable Mentions: Season 4, Episode 18 & Season 7, Episode 3 — Hitchcock Should Really Avoid Falling Asleep
Before we get into the best of the best, let’s throw a special mention to this pair of pranks. It’s well known that Hitchcock has the unfortunate ability to get himself in harm’s way incredibly easily. After a disastrous first foray into pranking Hitchcock, the rest of the team rightly warn him against doing something similar again. Unfortunately for Jake, he realises his mistake too late, and chaos ensues.
#10. Season 6, Episode 9 — An Unpleasantly Saucy Mission
I didn’t mean to start this with three Hitchcock entries, but sometimes that’s just how the cookie pizza crumbles. This scene epitomises everything great about Brooklyn Nine-Nine. You have brilliant character banter, absurd stakes, and a little dash of ridiculousness. Hitchcock really can’t be trusted with anything.
#9. Season 6, Episode 7 — Don’t Mind If I Cold-Do!
A lovely and refreshing cold brew-related cold open. Take it from someone who moved from an office without a coffee machine to an office with one: instant and free access to caffeine will generally result in something like this. Sure, it borders on being silly, but the precision rapid-fire cuts towards the end are guaranteed to make you cackle.
#8. Season 4, Episode 9 — …Like YEAST!
This one is so simple, but from the second the long pause starts, everything about it is perfection. Boyle noticeably trying to hold in a laugh, Jake’s deadpan stare, the awkward camera wobbles, and wonky camera zooms — it’s all here. Top it off with a perfectly timed cut into the credits, and you have a moment that succinctly encapsulates the Jake/Boyle dynamic.
#7. Season 3, Episode 10 — Amy’s Gift Is Da Bomb
Ah, Amy Santiago. So clever, so meticulous — yet inevitably blindsided by her desire for respect and approval from her captain. Her plan to sneak a birthday present through Holt’s strict “no gift” policy seems great on paper until Jake lays it all out together, at which point things quickly go south. We’d expect nothing less from Captain Holt.
#6. Season 1, Episode 21 — Holt Knows All the Moves
This may well be one of my favourite Holt moments from the entire show. His ability to command the room as a hardened veteran whilst occasionally letting his cheeky side peep through the cracks of his tough exterior is sublime. Holt letting Jake peek behind the curtain merely to playfully torment him is a quintessential example of their relationship.
#5. Season 6, Episode 17 — The Crazy Podium Prank
“YOU’RE CRAZY, HOW DID YOU PULL THIS OFF?!” is pretty much the exact response you’d expect from Holt to this prank. Holt hopping on the phone after the opening credits to explain the hijinks to his husband is the icing on the cake.
#4. Season 5, Episode 16 — Operation Saving Private Pigeon
Yet another foolproof plan has gone awry. I’m shocked that a strategy involving two pans, a picture of an owl, and Terry Crews in a bomb suit somehow didn’t go to plan. The 99th Precinct revels in this kind of absurdity, and we wouldn’t have it any other way. With that said, I sure wouldn’t want to be the one cleaning up the mess.
#3. Season 3, Episode 7 — Hitchcock Just Drank His Own Fish
It’s a glint in the eye, a cheeky grin, and a sly head tilt from Jake the moment Scully is done showing off his drink that lights this one up immediately. A classic Hitchcock and Scully moment follows, finished off with an unexpected twist to the tale arriving at the perfect moment. I honestly wonder whether having the entertainment factor of having these two in your office would outweigh the sheer amount of chaos they would consistently bring.
#2. Season 4, Episode 8 — The Full Bullpen!
I honestly can’t fault this one. Every aspect leading up to the slide is fantastic, and it only gets better from there. The thumbs-up, the prisoner cheering them on, and the look on everyone’s faces as it dawns on them that Holt could bring the stunt crashing down are all top-notch. When they both emerge from the lift in victory, I dare you not to laugh.
#1. Season 5, Episode 17 — “I Want It That Way”
Arguably the most famous scene in the entire show, I simply couldn’t pass this up for the number one spot. What starts as a traditional police line-up quickly devolves into a delightful singalong. It reminds us of the real stakes of the situation, but it does so in a way that exemplifies how the show manages to blend the realities of the job with its own bizarre brand of humour. It’s the best cold open in the show to date, and one of the best scenes the series has produced.
Brooklyn Nine-Nine is now streaming on SBS On Demand.
Andrew Searles is a Perth-based accountant by day and writer by night. Follow him on Twitter @drowningthunder. He promises not to tweet about accounting.