Do you have any photos from your very first day of prep? Everybody’s snapshots look so similar — a precious little five-year-old, wearing too-big shorts that predicted the return for culottes, and an excited smile. Oh bless, we think to ourselves, they are so optimistic and naive.

Well, this is exactly how some of us feel when we see teenagers preparing to begin university. Sure, it’s an exciting time, and a perfect excuse to spend too much money on novelty stationery. But just as every rose has its thorn and every night has its dawn and every cowboy sings his sad, sad song — sorry I got distracted thinking about Bret Michael’s powerful hair — every new beginning has the potential for some very awkward moments.

Here are some common encounters you might experience and some tips on how to figure it out.

An Autoplaying Laptop

You’re all prepared for your first tutorial. You pre-read the class notes, picked a good seat and even wore a bright red shirt that says ‘I’m Prepared’.

But what happens when you open your laptop and the audio you’d been listening to previously starts blaring out of the speakers? It’s going to be embarrassing no matter what the actual content is, whether it’s that weird YouTube clip of Bee Movie where every time they say the word ‘bee’ it gets faster, or an adult video of two people getting to know each other in the biblical sense.

My tip: scream “hmm, that’s not Beyonce’s latest single!” and throw your laptop out the window.

Alternatively, embrace both the awkwardness and your new title of That Bee Movie Person forever.

Arriving Late To A Lecture

Universities have this weird system whereby nobody waits for you. Classes are bigger than high school, friendship groups have changed and a lecturer isn’t going to scan an auditorium and realise “Oh, Jess isn’t here yet, we’ll just wait five minutes”. I know, I find it weird and rude as well.

If you’re lucky, you can sneak in the back without drawing much attention. But some auditoriums have side doors which draw attention to you instantly, especially if you scream “Sorry I’m late!!!!” upon arrival. I recommend avoiding this.

Skip the side entrance and head ’round the back. But always remember to BOTD: Beware Of The Door. There is nothing worse than thinking you have succeeded in being a sneaky sausage, slipping onto a seat in the back row before hearing an enormous shuddering BANG followed by 100 heads turning around to see who the heck the late idiot is. It’s you. You’re the loud, un-sneaky sausage.

Failing An Assignment

The really great thing about uni is that you set your own study timetable according to your schedule — nobody will be hassling you to check in on the progress of an assignment.

The really bad thing about uni is that you set your own study timetable according to your schedule — nobody will be hassling you to check in on the progress of an assignment.

Failing an exam or project can be an awful feeling; I’ve been there. But owning up to it and speaking with the course co-ordinator can be a great lesson in maturity and realising it’s not the end of the world. Get some feedback, write an essay to make up for the marks, and use it as a learning experience.

Sure, there’s always the option of moving to a small island and screeching “Don’t come near me, I’m a failure” whenever another human approaches, but that would get boring after a while.

Getting Lost

Google Maps is really great in theory but is not much help when you are stuck in a dead-end corridor at uni surrounded by doors labelled C1 and C2 when you’re looking for Z90.

Which of the following options sounds most appealing to you?

1. Immediately burst into tears and drop out.

2. Ask someone nearby if they know the way and if not, try to locate Student Services for assistance.

3. Build a nest out of twigs, begin rationing your breathmints and accept that this hallway is your new home.

If you selected option two, congrats. You’ll be fine.

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Even if you don’t hit the mark you wanted, UTS:INSEARCH can fast-track you into the second year of a UTS Degree, where you can join all your peers battling to keep your student legacy intact. Find out more here.

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Feature image: Legally Blonde/MGM Inc.