Everyone Is Obsessed With The Beach That Makes You Old From The Movie ‘Old’
Get in girls, we're going to the beach that makes you old.
The premise of the new M. Night Shyamalan movie Old is so simple that it can be summed up in eight words: there is a beach that makes you old. Done. Dusted. What more could you possibly need to know?
In that way, Old represents part of Shyamalan’s thrilling return to basics. Emerging on the scene with the hugely popular and impressively lean The Sixth Sense, the filmmaker grew somewhat bloated as the years went on — The Lady In The Water, his critical and commercial flop, seemed like the work of someone who had gotten too high on their own supply, complete with an author insert character who saves the day and played by Shyamalan himself.
But from Split onwards, brevity became the name of Shyamalan’s game, with the filmmaker focusing on simple premises and outrageous shocks. Glass, his long-gestating sequel to Unbreakable, concludes with one of the most understated climaxes of the man’s entire career, a grimly simple fight in a parking lot.
And now there’s Old, which, let me repeat again, is all about a beach that makes you old. More specifically, the beach ages you one year for every single half hour, resulting in a terrifyingly mortal set of encounters for the film’s main characters, a family trapped on — say it with me — the beach that makes you old.
The simplicity appears to be paying off for Shyamalan too: though the film has gotten decidedly mixed reviews, it has opened at number one at the American box office.
It’s also been a smash hit on Twitter, quickly becoming a sensational meme — for the last three days, timelines around the world have become crowded with tweets about the beach that makes you old. Here are just some of the highlights:
M. Night Shyamalan stays in the pool for too long. Takes a look at his fingers and says: “holy shit.”
— Felipe Torres Medina (@felipetmedinaa) July 25, 2021
— Cameron Scheetz (@cameronscheetz) July 25, 2021
— Cody Wimmer (@Cody_Wimmer) July 25, 2021
I’m just here to talk about the beach that makes you old pic.twitter.com/phQ30gskiZ
— J (@TheOrionHunter) July 25, 2021
M. Night Shyamalan won’t see your Old jokes but your friends who are trapped on the beach that makes you old will
— Amy (@amyis_trying) July 25, 2021
t shirt that says "i went to the beach that makes you old and all i got was old"
— zach silberberg (@zachsilberberg) July 23, 2021
♫ Gimme the beat boys and free my soul, I’m going to the beach that makes you old,
— Patrick Monahan (@pattymo) July 25, 2021
kokomo by the beach boys but it’s about the beach that makes you old
— zoe (@COOLZOE69) July 25, 2021
did you guys hear about this one? it’s a beach that turns you old pic.twitter.com/pdepX2FZau
— dune opinions account (@fellawhomstdve) July 25, 2021
when the frisbee goes over the fence at the beach that makes you old and one of you has to go get it pic.twitter.com/Z1hcoBYZfi
— mike ginn (@shutupmikeginn) July 25, 2021
— pixelatedboat aka “mr tweets” (@pixelatedboat) July 25, 2021
— I hope this is satire… (@sablaah) July 24, 2021
— zach silberberg (@zachsilberberg) July 25, 2021
goddammit, i just tried going to the beach from old but i completely messed up, walked to the wrong place and now i’m a baby. welp
— Jared Gilman (@realJaredGilman) July 24, 2021
every beach makes you get old if you think about it
— shut up, xavier (@XavierRN) July 24, 2021
crossover of the century! pic.twitter.com/RKcbC2HPcr
— zach silberberg (@zachsilberberg) July 25, 2021
[being interviewed by my grandchildren for a school project about the coronavirus] so as it happened, I got my first dose of the vaccine on the same day as all those tweets about the beach that makes you old
— Chloe Alison Escott (@vesselskirt) July 25, 2021
— Who? Weekly (@whoweekly) July 25, 2021
NOVELTY T-SHIRT: Life's a Beach and Then You Die
M. NIGHT SHYAMALAN: hmm
— Sen. Lemon Gogurt (R – MS) (@Ugarles) July 25, 2021
— zach silberberg (@zachsilberberg) July 24, 2021
Australians will have to wait a little longer to see Old, given that whole lockdown thing — the film was due to be released here on July 22, but cinemas around the country have been forced to close. It’s a shame. But hey, at least we have the memes to (pun intended) tide us over.