Eat Shit: Barnaby Joyce Just Failed In His Bid To Become Deputy Prime Minister Again

Barnaby Joyce has failed in his bid to claw his old job back, with his colleagues reportedly voting 11-10 to keep him on the sidelines in a leadership spill this morning.

The Nationals leader (and therefore our deputy prime minister) will continue to be Michael McCormack, who to be honest is still very cooked, but maybe not as cooked as someone who threatened to murder a Hollywood superstar’s dogs on television.

Barnaby was fighting to get his old job back two years after stepping down to the backbench due to the huge backlash over him impregnating his staffer, on top of sexual harassment allegations.

Note to media: @Barnaby_Joyce did not quit over a sex scandal, but over serious allegations of sexual harassment — allegations his party has refused to properly resolve ever since.

— Bernard Keane (@BernardKeane) February 3, 2020

I'm dying. I can't stop laughing. My fave tweet about #natspill @Barnaby_Joyce#auspol https://t.co/FaKmjfK73a

— ✨ Miss Natski ✨ (@Natski82) February 3, 2020

Sick of the Government being in your life?

No problems – put your hand up to run it. ?

Give. Me. A. Break.#BarnabyJoyce #auspol #Nationals #NatSpill #sportsrorts

— Emma Husar (@emmahusarmp) February 3, 2020

The leadership spill was called after their deputy leader Bridget McKenzie was forced to resign over the sports rort controversy. David Littleproud has picked up her role.

McCormack may have only narrowly clung to power, but it didn’t stop him from talking up his party as a “united team” after the spill.

“We will continue to serve in a very good government. We have been very responsive to the needs and wants and expectations this summer and particularly for regional Australia,” he told journalists.

Some might disagree with that — particularly those he dismissed as greenie, inner city raving lunatics when they voiced concerns about this summer’s climate change-induced bushfire season — but hey, it’s your press conference I guess.

Yep, 11-10 just screams stability.

— Terry Sweetman (@Terrytoo69) February 3, 2020

Michael McCormack just said "The fact is, I’ve shook hands with Barnaby, we’re going to move on and we’re going to work hard together. He and I, and the rest of the Nationals team, for regional Aus.. hahaha he doesn't know Barnaby Joyce does he ?? #auspol

— Politic@l Spinner (@LesStonehouse) February 3, 2020

To celebrate #NatSpill I'm going to get drunk and root someone in the office, then post a video of me insanely mumbling about governments and conspiracy theories, and how broke I am on $400 k a year.

Then I'll text my report on my behaviour to the boss.

— Mrs & Mr Wilma Slurrie (@WilmaSlurrie) February 3, 2020

So not the end of it. Bananaby will persist as a destabilising agent.

— michael (@fount8) February 3, 2020

Anyway, looking forward to the myriad questions Joyce will no doubt get from an Australian media fascinated by how male politicians balance fatherhood and politics given he has a literal newborn.

— Benjamin Law 羅旭能 (@mrbenjaminlaw) February 3, 2020

 

As a sidenote Senator Matt Canavan is also out of cabinet — he resigned after announcing he’d be supporting Barnaby’s leadership ambitions, in what has to be the greatest miscounting of votes since Peter Dutton’s failed spill.

Barnaby and Matt have been pals for a while — Matt used to be his chief of staff but was also somewhat embroiled in the controversy that originally forced Barnaby out, after people found out his office gave Barnany’s then-mistress a cushy job in his office.

So apparently Barnaby can’t count and neither can Matt Canavan.

— ?Queen Victoria (@Vic_Rollison) February 3, 2020